Dreamer of Much

Missing her

2012-02-02T20:13:00.003-05:00

Tess is back at school. We had an amazing month together while she was home for Christmas break. We had meals together, played Wii together, watched a lot of tv and movies together, got our nails done, shopped for Guatemala, KAJ and Tess went to Guatemala together, and laughed and laughed and laughed. She was home on time or early any night she went out. She chatted with us, took KAJ to school everyday with no or minimal complaining. She was even pleasant some mornings! She really is growing up and being fun to be around! haha Right now we're watching Big Bang Theory and I miss her. She loves Sheldon. We laugh at him together. So I miss her extra tonight even though it's for a trivial reason... Sometimes they are the best reasons...

The last day??

2012-01-21T23:05:00.002-05:00

I have been really good this week actually. I had anticipated lots of tears last weekend as my family pulled away to the land of my heart. However, I've done surprisingly well! I only got a little teary a few times. For instance, KAJ called me on Wednesday during the Pollo Campero party at the orphanage and I got teary when Julio told me he's starting school this Monday. I have officially missed every first day of school for every single child. And then I got teary when KAJ said that Tess is having a "great trip!" She's met some new girlfriends and has great memories with her dad. I got teary. And then today. The day they return. You'd think I would be most excited. Nope.

I got up this morning to find that Tess's facebook status was something about having to leave and wanting to stay. That made me teary. You see, KAJ and I have talked about moving down in the next few years to work at the mission and to know that she loves it there as much as we do warms my heart. I don't think she would live there but she would definitely come down a lot! And then KAJ and I were texting and when he told me they were leaving Guatemala, I got teary. Even though I couldn't be there, I want SOMEONE from my family to be there with the kids. And so to hear that they were once again without us made me teary. It's hard to explain...

And now I'm sitting on the couch at 11:15 waiting for their plane to land and I'm teary. I want to be with them but I don't want our normal routine back. I want to be all together serving God and loving on our kids. I don't want Tess to leave for college and go back to the life she was living. I don't want KAJ back to sit and grade papers for hours on end. It's not the life I want. I want to be doing something bigger...

So, here I sit again, waiting, with tears...

Missing them all

2012-01-17T17:20:00.001-05:00

So my entire family is in Guatemala. Well, okay, that's an exaggeration. Not my ENTIRE family, but the people I live with day to day, they're gone. KAJ and Tess are currently enjoying life serving God, working hard, playing and loving on our kids down there. I'm completely jealous. I know I'm not supposed to get jealous (you know, do not covet your neighbor's situation...) but how can I not be jealous?

Tess was a late add on to the team. She was on the fence for a long time. There were two separate times that she turned down an extra ticket and it went to someone else. Then, late December a team member had to drop because of an impending surgery and we asked her. We figured God wanted her on this trip and wasn't going to let her skip out on it! She jumped at the chance. This is the first time that it's just the two of them. I'm so excited that they will have this trip as a memory together. I love when they have together memories. But I would be okay if I was in the memory too!!

I miss them all so much. I can't wait to hear their voices on the phone. All 6 voices. That's who I want to hear :)

2012 "Resolutions"

2012-01-03T20:02:00.002-05:00

I hate making resolutions but I have goals for this year. For some reason, I always end my year in a rough spot emotionally and spiritually. So, I'm remaking goals for the year. Or rather, goals to take one day at a time. And if I fail, I retry the next day.

1. Read through the New Testament through the year. I know, some people can read through the whole Bible. Unfortunately, I'm not so dedicated. So I'm going with small goals.

2. Be nicer to hubby. Stop looking at the negatives. Look more at the positives.

3. In general, stop looking at the negatives and look more at the positives.

Here's to my year!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T19:13:00.002-05:00

Even though KAJ's kids are grown (or almost grown), we still had some good family time this week. Christmas Eve eve, Tessa asked me to teach her how to knit so we snuggled down, turned on "Miracle on 34th St" and knitted together :) KAJ slept through most of it. We kept throwing things at him and he would wake up and glare at us and then fell back asleep.

Last night was the candlelight service at church. We inhaled chinese food, Tess and TJ did nursery for us and we took a few family photos. Then we all came back here, put on our new Christmas pjs and snuggled down for "Polar Express". Again, KAJ slept through it. He saw the kid get on the train at the beginning and off the train at the end. *sigh* It's amazing we ever see a movie together!! hahaha

For the first time ever, we had to wake up Tess for Christmas morning. It wasn't going to be super exciting at our house because every one knew what they were getting. Well, almost. I got a pair of red Toms that I didn't know about but everything was known. My present isn't here yet (I'm currently bidding on a new camera lens) and Tessa's gift is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. So even Christmas morning was low key but still nice just to be all together.

Not a super exciting post but I just want to remember :)

For my own memory

2011-11-30T20:24:00.002-05:00

This post is really just so I can remember this time in my life. We are in my favorite time of year - holiday time!! I just love the atmosphere that surrounds people at this time. I love giving - donating in the salvation army red kettles, giving surprise gifts to friends (sometimes even anonymously - that might be the best!), giving gifts to family, seeing smiles and happiness when you give just the right gift!

This year, however, we are going to have to get creative. Due to college bills, we are tight for funds. I wish we had unlimited funds to give gifts. I really do just LOVE it. Anyways, this year I am planning on some more homemade gifts and hand crafted items. What's a little disappointing is that KAJ's kids are not going to appreciate my hand crafted gifts but we have given them a dollar amount and they can choose a gift within that amount. We decided they are old enough to know what they're getting and that way it's something they truly need or want and we're not spending money just to spend it on them. I have been scouring the internet for ideas and am excited about some of my ideas!

We just had a wonderful Thanksgiving vacation time with Tess and I want to document this for future rough times :) We only had one night of lateness and she wasn't toooo late. She was pleasant to be around, seemed to actually enjoy being around us. She had friend time, she had dad time (field trip to the aquarium), and despite getting pretty sick Thanksgiving Day, we all got to Pennsylvania for a few days. I just really like being all together.

She texted me tonight and said she's thinking about transfering to Salisbury next year. We've always said that where she goes to college has to be her choice (within our price range). We can't force her to go somewhere or she won't put forth the effort or will hold it against us forever. I really wanted her to go AWAY for school and experience somewhere else. But she did this year and if she wants to transfer back, that's her choice and we're going to support her. She has experienced life somewhere else and who knows what she will decide. I kind of think she's more homesick then she would ever admit. While she loves school, I think she really likes this area. As much as she "hates Smallsbury", this is what she knows and this is what she's comfortable with. We'll just have to wait and see....

Like I said, this post is more for me to remember happy times. A time when family is calm and happy even though finances are not so much...

God during college

2011-10-04T18:06:00.002-04:00

Tessa is at Towson University this semester for the first time away from home. This summer, every time I told someone where she was going, they would go, Oh, that's a party school! yeah, thanks everyone. I KNOW. I just have to trust that God will keep her safe.

Well, we're one month in and every weekend I am nervous for her. She has succumbed to the drinking thing a few times... We're hoping and praying that it's not often and that she's not going crazy but she has fallen into the "I'm on my own my parents aren't here I can do anything I want" bug that many college freshman catch. It really disappoints me because I honestly thought she was above this but, peers have won out. God is not on her horizon right now or at least a very small spec on the horizon of her choices. It has been hard over the last few months to watch her pull away from God and Christian choices. I know that I went through similar times in my own life and I know that God has always pulled me back closer than I was before I pulled away. She is going to class and doing her homework and she's not going out every night. I just hate that it's happening at ALL.

KAJ and I spend a LOT of time in prayer. He reassures me that she will not be like this forever, that she has to get it out of her system. That helps a bit. It's hard to watch her become a party person when she never was in high school. I guess I should be grateful that she waited this long...

I think God is using this time in my own life to build my faith. I have spent lots of time on my knees praying for mercy and grace, conviction of the spirit in her heart, faith in my own heart to truly believe that God has a plan and has her under His control. I have spent time reading verses about worry and God's plan. God is working in my life and I am praying that He's working in hers...

A new year

2011-08-22T17:39:00.002-04:00

Back to school today for year 8.

Walked into my icebox room and felt slightly overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done by Thursday afternoon.

Wasn't quite sure where to start.

Wishing I didn't have to work anymore. Wishing I had a reason to stay home (like maybe a baby...).

Wanting more time with KAJ and Tessa before we take her to college this weekend.

Another year. Here we go...

30th birthday

2011-08-02T21:29:00.002-04:00

About a week ago, I had warned KAJ that I had high expectations for my birthday. I didn't want a half-effort attempt and something. I wanted big and memorable. It's a big birthday, I wanted big plans. Well, he did very well :) This is more for my own memory's sake but here is how we celebrated my much-dreaded 30th birthday:

Breakfast with my amazing friend Melany

Pedicures with my amazing step-daughter Tessa

Lunch with my amazing hubby and step-daughter at Panera

Quick run to the new Hobby Lobby - got a picture frame for my painting of the beach that Nanny painted for me

Pottery painting at Chesapeake East - I did a picture frame and KAJ did a gnome :)

Guatemalan love tattoo

Flowers from my parents

Dinner at Tokyo Steakhouse

It really was a fantastic day. In order to understand this next comment, you have to know that I sometimes go along with things and then later mumble something like... well, it was nice but I wish we would've (fill in the blank). On the way home tonight, I said, there is nothing I can complain about. It was a great day! haha I know that KAJ laughed and said, WOW! That is good! :) Happy birthday to me!

29...

2011-08-01T17:41:00.002-04:00

I'm down to less than 12 hours as a 20 something.

30

That is not a number I've been looking forward to at all. I know that when I say that I'm dreading 30 to a lot of my friends, they roll their eyes and say something like, "what I wouldn't give to be 30 again!" and that's all great but it doesn't change the fact that I'm not looking forward to it. I know that God has a bigger and better plan for my life than I could ever dream. He's already given me a great hubby and step-daughter. He's taken me to various places around the world. He has 4 lovies in Guatemala waiting for adoptions to open. I have a great job, a great house, a great church, great friends, great family. But I still feel like this is not what I wanted for my life at 30. I want to be a mom more than anything. My job was never supposed to be a lifelong career. I want to stay home and raise a family. I thought that by this point, I would have one or two kids, be at home doing the whole playdate/reading time at the library/craft time/naptime thing. But nope. I'm still working with no end in site.

And so I turn 30 in about 10 1/2 hours. 30. Not happily but I think that KAJ has some memorable things planned. I have no choice but to dive in and take what comes. Here goes nothing...

My friend Sam

2011-07-29T20:33:00.002-04:00

I just got off the phone with one of my bestest friends in the whole world. I just love her. I haven't been able to talk to her for weeks (probably a couple of months in reality) and yet I feel like I just talked to her last night. I love that I can vent to her about life and laugh with her about life and relive moments together. I love my hubby but there is something special about having a girlfriend to chat with on a Friday night :)

Another birthday

2011-07-10T22:43:00.003-04:00

Happy birthday to my wonderful caring patient loving husband! I love you so much!!

extreme family time

2011-07-09T09:40:00.002-04:00

We just got back from 10 days in Guatemala. We didn't plan this but God did - the kids were on vacation from school while we were there. We didn't know that was going to happen until we got there. We also stayed in a private room/private bath/private laundry area and the kids stayed with us all week. We had movie night every night in our room (sometimes continuing a movie from the night before that didn't get finished b/c I had to enforce bed time!). Sometimes we had a few other kids in the room for afternoon movies as well.

The first Monday morning, we were all at breakfast as a family. We were there at the same time as another family that we are friends with. We saw Carlos go to them and talk to them while he was in his "handing out jobs" mode. I looked at KAJ and got a little nervous. We weren't there to work, we were there for family time. Uh oh. Here comes Carlos. He wanted us to level out a floor in a church that is under construction and if we had time, fill in a floor in a neighboring house. I was dreading taking the kids back to the orphanage and then Carlos said he was giving us a job that we could do as a family. He wanted all the kids to go to work with us. So for two days, we dug clay, hauled away blocks, carried stones, lifted buckets of dirt/clay/sand/rocks. Kids were super sweating, super dirty and super happy. I even gave Maria and Julio the option of not going back the second day. Not only did Maria want to go back, she brought Sandra, her best friend, with her! Although it was not what we planned, it was a great time bonding with each other and the other family.

We went to a water park on Saturday. It was a huge park with tons of slides, a lazy river, lots of shallow pools perfect for Julio. We spent the day there and had. a. blast.

Monday, our last day there, we moved the kids back into their rooms and they were going to sleep in their own rooms because of us needing to pack and get moving in the morning. The mission had a big fourth of July party including fireworks. We went back up to say goodnight to the kids. I kissed Margaro and told him I love him and KAJ did the same. Then he burst into full body convulsing sobs. I pulled him out of bed and rocked him on the couch for a while and I just couldn't get him calm. I looked over and Maria was crying too. So we had the two of them for one more night and I think it made our goodbyes easier. But it sure was heart breaking to see your child inconsolably crying. Whew.

We had a really great time with the kids and I think this was such a huge trip for us as a family between the school vacation and also staying with us.

Our next chapter

2011-03-28T18:49:00.002-04:00

I'm going to just throw it all out there right now. After all, it is my blog, my own record of things happening in my life to look back on in years to come. So if you don't want too many private details of my (well, mine and KAJ's) body and life, don't read on!

KAJ has a vasectomy and we are unable to get pregnant naturally. In order for us to have a baby, we either need a miracle (which we've been praying for last few months) or we have to use some help from a fertility doctor. I have been scared because I know there might be shots and sickness involved in the process. I have had some really rough days at work lately and have been considering resigning but I feel like I'm letting down my family by quitting my job to sit around the house all day with nothing to do. The only way I can stay home is if we have a family and I can be the stay-at-home mom that I've always wanted to be. KAJ is so supportive of this and has suggested many times over the last year that all I have to do is make a call to a doctor. I had a really rough morning at work last week and was fed up and made the step. I called the doctor. May 10 we have an appointment and consultation. Our journey begins towards growing our family. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. But mostly excited.

In the valley

2011-03-12T18:22:00.003-05:00

God gives us highs and lows in life. He gives us mountain top moments - moments where we fully see His beauty, His grace, His faithfulness, miracles, love, etc. He also allows us to experience valley moments so we learn to lean fully on Him, so we can fully appreciate those mountain top moments. Many of my mountain top moments happen in Guatemala (not only because I'm literally on a mountain top either!) or in working with the youth or being with my family.

Right now, though, I'm deep deep in a valley. I'm struggling. I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I am not embracing moments through the day. I'm pretty much just doing whatever I have to in order to get through the day. I KNOW I am not in a good place right now. I am irritable, I am yelling or crying at the drop of a hat. I find myself wanting to cuss (or actually doing it...) which is never a good sign for me. I basically want to quit everything I'm doing. Literally. I would love to move back up to Philly and have a fresh start where nobody knows anything about me. I want a fresh start. Taking KAJ and Tess with me of course.

I'm not sure why God has me going through this valley right now. I'd rather be on the mountain. I can't figure out of Satan is attacking me or if God is prepping me for something big. Either way, I could do without this stinkin' valley...

Sick

2011-02-06T20:28:00.002-05:00

As a teacher, I am exposed to ALL sorts of germs carriers (aka my students!). Currently, the flu and strep throat are traveling rampant through the student population. I praise the Lord that I have not gotten either of these but I do have a new illness. Well, not new to many people but new to me.

Ever since I had my adnoids out when I was in first grade, any type of cold yuck goes straight to my throat. I've had countless bouts of strep throat and try to avoid these germs like the plague. And I get probably 2-3 colds per year. I started using the neti pot this fall when I felt a cold coming on. Well, I got a little sicker this fall with a cold than usual. And since I've been back from Guatemala, I've been struggling with a post nasal drip. This week, I began using my neti pot trying to faithfully clear my sinuses of an germs. I was getting sicker as the week went on. Last night I was fighting tears and couldn't even blow my nose because it was so painful in my sinuses. This morning at church, I was crying in pain. I had to turn down my monitor (yes, even through my illness, I was playing keyboard) because the volume had my head throbbing. Then I led the discussion on our most recent Guatemalan experience - I EVEN PRAYED IN CHURCH!!! (If you know me, that's a huge deal.)

ANYWAYS, I've been putting off going to the doctor but I was miserable after church and couldn't put it off any longer. I visited our lovely immediate care clinic in town, waited for about 20 minutes. The PA came in, looked in my ears (I told her the right one was bothering me) and was told that I have fluid in my left ear, an infection in my right ear (I've only had 1 ear infection in my life before this!) and a really nasty sinus infection - my face is swollen I have so much fluid. Isn't that lovely??? So I was given a steroid shot and an antibiotic prescription and was told to take an otc decongestant. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm sitting on the couch, very drugged up and feeling better already! Wish I could take a day off work but I don't feel bad enough to call out :( Oh well, I'll enjoy my husband babying me tonight and hopefully I can still milk it tomorrow! :)

Happy Birthday!

2011-01-12T22:10:00.004-05:00

Today, my amazing step-daughter, T turned 18. 18!! It seems crazy to think back through the years we've had together. I know I haven't been around for her whole life but I've been around for the toughest, moodiest, and craziest years. And I've loved every minute. I can't always say that I would tell you that in the moment during some of the rough patches, but looking back, I'm privileged to be part of her life in such an influential way. I feel that God has given me a huge responsibility being her step-mom. I have the chance to show her what a Christian mom can look like in so many ways. She is currently applying to college and wants to major in counseling psychology for children. We are so proud of her, her love for God, her (mostly) wise decisions (she is still a teenager after all...).

Happy birthday T. I love you!!
A small sampling of some of our great times together...

July 2007, Ocean City

The first time meeting your brothers and sister, January 2008

Your "favorite brother"'s graduation, May 2008

Being goofy together before the wedding, June 2008

Your dad's Master's graduation, May 2009

Guatemala, Christmas break, December 2009

I love how much you love your brothers! July 2010

September 2010

18th birthday pic with dad, Jan 12, 2011

Snowed in

2010-12-26T22:31:00.002-05:00

Well, we're supposed to be in PA right now. We're supposed to have eaten family dinner. We're supposed to have opened presents, taken pictures, laughed, played. We're supposed to be with my family today.

Instead, we are still in our house, eating our own food, lazing around in our comfy clothes and doing puzzles. It is snowing. Not just a pretty light dusting of a snow. It is blizzarding. We have about 10" of snow and it's still snowing. It is pretty. It just sucks that we are snowed in here and we missed family Christmas there. And not sure that tomorrow will be any different. But here's hoping for open roads and safe travels tomorrow!

Magical Memories

2010-12-24T22:24:00.002-05:00

Tonight is Christmas Eve. Our presents are wrapped. Candles are light. Christmas music is playing in the background. There is something so magical about Christmas Eve. I really like it better than Christmas day. There is something about the expectancy and the sacredness of this night, the night that Jesus was born, the night that started it all. How blessed we are...

Today was a wonderful Christmas Eve. What started out as normal and potentially boring turned into wonderful :) We all went our separate ways this morning - Tess to work, KAJ to get his oil changed, and me to the stores one last time (not for Christmas gifts though!). Time passed and KAJ and I ended up at walmart at the same time. We didn't know each other was there until he text me saying he was. And I was too!! So we finished the shopping together and on the way out, ran into his oldest son and his gf. They just closed on their house this week and we had yet to see it. We ended up taking them to lunch and then going to see the house. While that might not seem like a big deal, we don't get to see them very often b/c of everyone's schedules so to unexpectedly spend a few hours together was really really great. Just some good hang out time. Very needed and good bonding!

We got home and started on our traditional Christmas Eve plans - wrapping :) We don't wrap anything until this night. We pulled everything out and started a little after 5. Around 6:30 decided we couldn't wait any longer to eat! We've been going to a chinese buffet the last few years. After Chinese, it was back to the wrapping pit. And we finished around 10. That's right, about 5 hours (with dinner in the middle) of wrapping. We feel like we cut back this year but you wouldn't know it by the pile of gifts under the tree!! I guess Santa just got some good deals at Marshalls this year! ;) While I know it seems like a lot of gifts, there are quite a few necessities wrapped under the tree for some family members. That's what we love to give - stuff that people need (or want but would never spend the money for it). We love that God has blessed us with enough to live comfortably AND be able to bless others to the extent that we do.

Thank you, God, for your baby son on this magical night. Thank you for your amazing blessings that we may bless others.

Christmas Time is Here

2010-12-18T10:46:00.002-05:00

I LOVE the holiday season! I love the decorations (KAJ has to hold me back from decorating before Thanksgiving! He refuses to get the tubs down from the attic), I love the atmosphere and music in all of the stores, I love the fact that this is the only time of year where people are in a giving spirit, when food bank shelves can get restocked, where the red kettles come out and collect THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of dollars in just a few short weeks (those of you who know me know that I put $1 in every red kettle that I pass during the month of December - LOVE this charity!!). I love that our family has a chance to bless others who have practical needs (grocery gift cards, diapers, etc). God has richly blessed our family (maybe not quite as much as some Hollywood people or Bill Gates type people but we are blessed!) and we love being able to bless others. God sent His son, which we are reminder of this time of year, to bless the world. What better blessing ever existed??

Bonding time

2010-11-13T20:59:00.002-05:00

Tonight is a night that has been in the plans for two very special boys for quite a few weeks. Two boys in our youth group, who are also involved in local mentor programs, have latched onto KAJ. They sit by him on Sundays at church, they text him during the week to see how he's doing, and they have been asking EVERY WEEK to spend the night. So finally, tonight, their wish has come to fruition. They are spending the night. :)

He picked them up at 5, swung by Lowes to grab something, and next thing I heard, Ms Brenna? Where are you?? haha They would kill me if they knew I said this about them, but they are adorable. They are thoughtful and considerate (naw, I don't want to spend a lot of your money!); they are FUNNY both listening to them talk to each other and just when they talk to me; they are genuine and nice boys. I REALLY enjoy being around them and spending time with them.

Tonight, we went bowling. And we had a blast. THEY had a blast. Laughing, snack bar food, even glow bowling. It was a GREAT time and great memories were made. We got back to the house, pulled out their sleeping arrangements (couch and futon mattress in the family room), set up the XBOX and now they are off for the marathon game night. Even one of KAJ's sons is here and out with them.

It just warms my heart to hear their conversations and bonding. I feel so blessed to be able to give them a night like this - a night with a quality Christian man of my husband, a night to build their own friendship (they only met about 2 months ago and now are attached at the hip anytime they see each other), a night with fun and laughter and people who love them. God has given my family many blessings and one of our favorite things is being able to bless others with them!!

Picking up the pieces...

2010-10-10T19:45:00.002-04:00

...of my broken heart. I found out this past week through an email and facebook, that the US has withdrawn its letter of intent to participate in the pilot program with Guatemalan adoptions. I randomly fall to pieces. I sobbed myself to sleep the night I found out. I had a few minutes of extreme weak faith and asked how are we going to get our kids home if our government continues to slam the doors. But my wonderful hubby reminded me that God's the one in control. He can perform the miracles needed to get our kids home.

So I have spent a lot of time in prayer the last few days, lots of time reading verses on faith and miracles, listening to some amazing worship songs to realign my thoughts to God and His abilities. He loves our kids more than we do. He can bring them home when He wants. People have started asking if we are willing to "abandon" the idea of these kids and look more locally for adoptions. We have talked about it but neither of us feel ready to give up. These are our children. These are the ones God has called us to. I'm sure we could learn to love different kids but we don't feel like we're supposed to be "done" with these kids yet. So we will keep praying and waiting...

Labor Day Weekend

2010-09-08T17:26:00.004-04:00

Our labor day weekend was amazing. We had an awesome time as a family. We randomly decided Friday night that we were going to Philly for the day on Saturday. We packed a cooler with drinks and snacks and off we went. We went to IKEA (one of my absolute favorite stores!!), the mall for a little H&M school shopping, had HUGE pizza slices for lunch,

and then hit the city. We didn't do anything specific in the city. Parked at the art museum, walked down Ben Franklin Blvd all the way to the old city hall, took pictures,

and just had a great time talking and laughing together.

Then we hit South Philly (by the way, I LOVE south philly and would totally move there in a heartbeat!) for some amazing Pat's cheesesteaks.

Yes, I'm a Pat's girl, not a Geno's girl, although Geno's does have good cheese fries. We waited in line literally around the building and it was absolutely worth every bite. wit-out wiz please :)

Sunday was church and we spent the afternoon working in the yard. It was great to be outside in the amazing fresh air. We were prepping for an evening with friends. Natalie and her boyfriend Aaron and Tess's friend Jess came over for game night, snacks and a bonfire. We laughed until we cried :)

Monday we slept in, laid around, talked about our plans for our backyard and watched a Hoarding marathon on TV. It was an amazing weekend!!

First week of school

2010-09-01T20:25:00.003-04:00

This week is back to school week at the J-house. There's always a certain *feeling* that goes along with the first week of school. It's exciting yet a little nerve racking (because we don't know the kids yet), anticipated yet dreaded (because summer is over). And I HATE waking up when it's dark. I talked to my brother this week and I said that to him. He goes, I LOVE waking up when it's dark. He gets up at 4:45. My mom gets up at like 4 or 4:15. That's right. My family is full of morning freaks! :) Just kidding. I love them. But they're still freaks! KAJ's first few days and my first few days have gone well. I've had some small, single incidences with students but nothing that I can't squash in the next week. So no big deal. I just hate the whole bonding/building relationship portion of the year. I wish I could just jump to October. By October, my kids know the routine, we have a relationship and we can start to relax and have fun. September is so much of rule enforcing and boring vocab...

Tessa, on the other hand, is NOT having a good first week. She's only had two days of school and she has come home in a BAAAAD mood both days. She said she hates all her classes, she has no friends at lunch, and even field hockey is not fun. She's annoyed with her team right now and their lack of caring towards improvement. We talked at dinner tonight and said that she has a choice. She has to go and she has to do well so she can either try to have a better attitude about it or hope that it does get better. After all, it's only the second day. It's not going to be fun and exciting yet!

So KAJ and I are praying for her - that she will have an attitude adjustment, that she would look for the good moments through the day, that things would interest her. The one thing I'm excited about is she is talking about doing her senior paper on Hope of Life. She has a passion for it and knows a lot about it and could maybe do some on location research in January :) But please pray for her. She's struggling. It's her senior year and I don't want her to look back and regret it...

Recovery

2010-08-19T10:03:00.002-04:00

Reentry into the States is always a little rough emotionally. Monday was no different. I sat sobbing as I unpacked my suitcase. I was angry at KAJ multiple times for nothing at all, just freak outs. But I'm much better the last two days. Yesterday we were at Marshalls shopping for KAJ's school clothes. We walked in and saw a cute little Hispanic boy wearing a new backpack running around and looking super cute. Suddenly we heard, "Margaro! Come here." hahahaha we quicly looked at each other and started laughing. Margaro... I've never heard that name anywhere except with our little guy and here we are, home in Maryland, and that's what we hear. Laughing, I said, if I said that once, I said it a thousand times in the last month. Gosh... I wish I could call him to me every day. I love him so much.

Where did the time go??

2010-08-15T12:54:00.003-04:00

Here I sit at the airport in Guatemala waiting to board for our flight home and I realize that I have not blogged one single time during our three week stay. I'm an awful blogger!!!

Quick overview: While "Team Jersey" was in town, we - mopped floors, threw poles, mixed cement, held babies, hugged orphans, fed hundreds at the dump, swam, laughed, worshipped in Spanish, blessed and were blessed by the people of Guatemala.

Once the girls left (on my birthday, crappy start to a birthday by the way), we laid in hammacks, swam, played lots of uno, barrel of monkeys and connect four, swam, ate, baked cookies, laughed, walked into town, laughed, swam, practiced english, swam, practiced spanish, more worship in Spanish, laughed and LOVED on our kids.

This morning we left the mission at 6. At 5:30, Carlos showed up to pray for us. Well, actually, he showed up to pray with the team that was leaving with us but that's okay. I like to think he was there to pray with us :) Anyways, I started crying AGAIN. I don't know what came over me. I was supposed to cry enough last night. But I just couldn't stop. He just kept hugging me and kissing my cheek, and telling me that he would take good care of my kids and WHEN we get to take them home, it will be his turn to cry. It was so sweet.

Now I sit. Waiting to board a plane that will take me over a thousand miles away from my kids and I want to cry. "They" say things will open in October. I'll believe it when I see it but for now, I sit. I'll pray. I'll miss them. I'll look forward to my next trip. I'll love them. And when it's time, I'll get on the plane for home, home that's not quite complete because there are four smiles, four laughs that are missing...

Floored

2010-07-22T21:41:00.004-04:00

I found out some news tonight that almost knocked me to the floor. For reasons, I cannot get too into details but just to throw it out there, a couple that I know apparently got pregnant last year and had an abortion. I wasn't sure if I wanted to fall over or cry or throw up or what. I spent the next hour wanting to ask a million questions and still feeling the need to cry. There should be a baby in our lives. I was angry because here we are, not able to get pregnant and they chose to end a life before it began. I am feeling incredibly guilty. I should be covering this couple in prayer every day and I don't. I have been AW. FUL. about praying for them. I know it is not about me but I feel like this might not have happened if I was more faithful in prayer. I know it is not about me. I just got a wake up call is all. Not that I personally know but everything I've read about people in this situation regret it for years, feel an intense guilt for years, hurt for years. So I am now on a prayer journey for the people involved, that God would heal their hurts, that God would maybe use this as a way to guide them to Him, that they would find someone (us or anyone!) that will show them that God is the way to heal.

Excitement

2010-07-19T21:27:00.003-04:00

I talked to the kids last night for a few minutes. I was home alone and they had a pizza party to attend so we only talked for about 20 minutes. They always start the conversation by asking how long until we come: "Brianna! Cuantos dias venga?" (or something along those lines). I usually answer them in months or weeks or days. Now, a LOOOONNNGGG time ago - probably back in March - I told them the actual date (July 24). Since then, they ask. They use Terri's computer and write things on my facebook page, ALWAYS ending with "cuantos dias??" Well, when they asked yesterday how long until we come, I turned the question back on them. I said, do YOU know how many days?? And I could hear them whispering between themselves going back and forth between some days and finally they had an answer. "Seis!" Yes!!! I was so excited that they remembered. Then Margaro got on the phone. And while days were nice, that wasn't enough for him. He needed to know what TIME we were going to be there :) I guess you know your trip is close when days are not good enough. Now we're counting hours! haha By the end of the phone call, I wasn't sure who is more excited about our trip, us or them. I think it's just general excitement all around :-)

Sooo... if all goes well, no delays, no traffic, we should be reuniting in 4 days, 20ish hours.

But who's counting.... :)

Nothing important

2010-07-17T21:36:00.002-04:00

This summer is FLYING by. I can't believe it's half way through July already. Where do the weeks go????? I don't even want to THINK about going back to school yet. Ugh.

This weekend was the in between weeks for KAJ's camp. He is home for about 42 hours and then he goes back. Well, it was a wonderful weekend together. We spent a lot of time just being together and laughing. Yes, that's what I'll remember about the weekend. Lots of laughs. Not at anything memorable, just being goofy together. That's something we are definitely good at! So thank you honey, for an incredibly relaxing, productive, fun and enjoyable weekend. What a great way to end one week and start the next. Love you!!

Vaca!!

2010-07-11T18:15:00.005-04:00

Last week, we had the opportunity to spend the week with my family in OC. We had SUCH a great time!! It was such a great bonding time between us and just really relaxing. Here are some of the highlights:

Playing in the ocean with Joe

Mandated self portrait :)

Boogie boarding!!!

Family picture

Morning fishing and sunrise watching

You can't have a trip to the beach without the boardwalk!

Jumping waves

Not that you don't already...

2010-06-30T16:18:00.002-04:00

... know this but God is AMAZING. He proved that to us yet again this past week. One of the girls on our summer trip was really hesitant because of money - not only paying the balance of the trip but also missing work for the time of the trip. But thanks to God and some past Team Guatemala team "feel like family" members, her trip is paid for in full. It made the decision much easier!! Every time I got an email with a donation amount, I just kept praising God. And then praying for a new amount needed. For about 3 days, we were praying for $225. We just kept praying for that specific amount and God pulled out $250!! He's amazing!!!!

Tess is going and we told her that we would pay for her airfare but she was responsible to raise the rest of the funds ($875). She has done a great job of fundraising and is down to a mere $60. That's it! She only needs $60. God has been good for her. She's very excited about this!!

Now we have a deadline of tomorrow. Tomorrow is our final payment and we have one more team member who has really been struggling financially and she has not had any success with fundraising so far. As of Sunday, she still needed $1275. God is definitely bigger than that amount of money. Since then, she has gotten $475 which leaves $800. God is still bigger than this amount. There has been another donation that we don't know the amount. So we are still praying. God can pull this through, no doubt. He has proven Himself before. If He wants her on this trip, He can pull through again.

So today we are praising God for his money so far but we are also still praying for the rest of the funds. God can do it. He is amazing.

Two Years Ago...

2010-06-21T09:31:00.002-04:00

...I married my best friend...

...surrounded by friends and family...

...making sure we have lots of fun in our lives...

...and lots of love...

I love you!! Happy Anniversary!!

Joe and Jamie's Wedding

2010-06-06T20:43:00.004-04:00

Wedding weekend finally arrived. We had a great time with family and added a few new members to the gang :)

The family (minus KAJ - he took this)

Mom and Joe

This little guy makes me an aunt!

Aren't they great together?? Love you guys!!

It was raining when they got the reception so they had an umbrella escort in. I think in this picture, Chris, the guy escorting Jamie, realized that she probably should be walking with Joe! :)

Great weekend! :-)

Update

2010-06-03T07:32:00.003-04:00

Today we go to PA for Joe's wedding. YAY! I'm so excited to see everyone, take TONS of pictures, and celebrate with them!

This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend. I spent Saturday taking Tessa on a photo shoot around to a few places in town.

I want to practice my photography skills and she's a great model for me. She was a little awkward at first but warmed up as the day went on.

I need to scope out some new places and we'll go again. We spent Saturday afternoon at the beach and then again Monday. I know a couple of us got BURNED! We all had sunscreen on but just didn't realize how strong the sun was and how long we were out in it. Great time though!

Talked to the kids Monday night. They're amazing as always. It is always such a pick-me-up to hear their voices. Maria is always a talker but this time Brigido didn't want to give up the phone. I think he was on the phone over half the time. Of course Julio isn't so great on the phone but he says hi and I love you and that's all I really need to hear :) Margaro hasn't quite figured out how to hold the phone when talking. He must put his mouth RIGHT against the mouthpiece b/c it's so hard to understand him. But boy did he have some stories to tell! I couldn't understand a word he said, but he had lots to say! They always ask how many days until we get there and then how long will we be there. They're so funny. I think they are just as excited about our trip as we are!

Guatemala needs prayer right now. They just went through Voclano Pacaya exploding and leaving inches of ash in the city, while in the mean time Hurricane Agatha hit them and has created mass flooding and mudslides through the countryside. A village just 20 minutes from Hope of Life has been destroyed - the houses were either completely flooded out or totally destroyed. The ministry is getting very low on goods as they have had to hand out mass quantities in a short amount of time. Please pray for the safety of the people, for endurance of the ministries helping them and for people to give financially so the ministries are able to help.

Well, I'm off to pack!

Upcoming trip

2010-05-23T15:10:00.002-04:00

The countdown is on to the end of the school year and our upcoming trip to Guatemala. We are very excited in this house for what our summer will bring us. There are beach trips with family planned, summer camps for a few of us and Guatemala. We love to travel to Guate for 4 obvious reasons (their pictures are here on this blog) but we also love to go as a family and be able to make memories together. It's a huge bonding experience and one that I am happy to share with my hubby and step-daughter. I am currently shopping for crafts for our small team of 5 to do with the kids at the orphanage.

Because there are only 5 of us, we are planning some different projects from other trips. We are not focusing on construction. We will be spending time with the people. We will still be doing food distributions but we also are going to spend a lot of time at the nutrition center and the elderly home and the orphanage. We are going to focus on a different house at the orphanage every day and do crafts, story time and game time with each of them. We are going to take the older girls and boys (on different days) to the pool, dinner at the cabana and then to the mission house for special time with them - crafts, baking, movies, things to give them a chance to just be teens, not babysitters. We are going to take gifts for the nannies (they love peanut butter and it's over $6 a jar down there!!). We just want to bless the people. I am so excited to do this. I love being with the kids. We are making the colors of salvation bracelets to hand out at villages and the dump. We are talking about making 1000 of them! :)

It's going to be a great trip. I am so excited. I just have to get through the next few weeks of school. My concert is June 9 so at least that kids my kids focused and on task as they are working towards something. Can't wait!!!

Grad School

2010-05-02T18:52:00.002-04:00

For 6 years I have been contemplating grad school - what to get my degree in, where to go, how to pay, you know, all the things to decide. Well, I'm finishing my 3rd year in a county that will pay for all of it as long as I stay within the range they will pay so that question is taken care of. Now to focus on the other two parts - what and where. The what SHOULD be easy, something with music. However, the where is quickly narrowing down the what portion of the equation. I spent a few hours this afternoon looking at schools, programs, time frames, etc and it has come down to this. I either have to give up 3 or more summers and go away and end up paying a large chunk myself for a degree in music OR go to Salisbury and get a degree in education. I really don't like either option to be honest. I'm finding myself settling for price and convenience and while price is not a bad thing, I have NO DESIRE for a degree in education. I already have that!!

So not that this is an interesting blog to read (Sorry!!) but this is my struggle at the moment. I would love to start this fall and try to finish in 2 years so we'll see. I think that means I don't have any options and that in itself makes me grumpy...

Party time

2010-04-19T19:48:00.004-04:00

This past weekend was Joe and Jamie's bridal shower/engagement party in PA. KAJ and I trekked it up because he's my only brother. I wouldn't miss it for anything! It was outside in the mountains at Jamie's brother's house. It was a wonderful time. I'm so happy for them. Sadly, I didn't get any real pictures of the happy couple...

The gift box played a song that Landon didn't like so much :-) And it was cold so Justin had a bonfire planned.

Saturday

2010-04-13T19:56:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday, we were Baltimore for Destination Imagination state competition. KAJ is an official and I like to get off the Shore so my parents come down every year and I hang out with them while he works. This year we went to Inner Harbor and hung out for about 4 hours.

We went with the intention of going to the National Aquarium and ended up just walking around, eating and shopping :-)

It was a BEAUTIFUL day! We had a great day, laughing and just being together :-)

Package of Love

2010-04-09T17:23:00.001-04:00

Last night I opened our mailbox to find one single, solitary piece of mail. It was a large brown envelope addressed to Brenna and Loco KAJ. It was from our friends who just returned from a week with their girls at Hope of Life. Inside the envelope were decorated envelopes filled with colored pictures, Bible verses, traced-hands and notes from our children :-) One day, our kids showed up at the door of our friends with these items all on their own. No prompting. All on their own. We had sent down some small toys with our friends and they were giving back love they only way they could. I love them so much. What a great present.

Easter

2010-04-04T13:09:00.002-04:00

Thank you, Jesus, for the empty cross and the empty grave.
Happy Easter!

Summer trip

2010-03-30T19:23:00.000-04:00

Plane tickets are officially booked. I've received the itinerary. Three beautiful weeks with my beautiful children. God has blessed us with jobs that allow us extended time in Guatemala and we try to take full advantage of that :) In about 5 minutes, I'll have a few other people here at the house for our first team meeting. We have a small team of 7 going for 10 days and there are 3 rookies. That's pretty exciting I think! So off we go on another mission adventure.

Happiness

2010-03-25T21:02:00.003-04:00

Our friends are at Hope of Life visiting their girls right now. We sent some small little gifts to them to give to our kids. Here is what she emailed me last night:

"Your kids are the sweetest, most adorable kids (besides mine, of course!)

Margaro keeps coming to visit me (because of our connection). I took a video of him talking to you today. They also made you some cards. I’ll send them when we get back. He keeps telling me Ken es Loco! Brenna, no. They absolutely loved their presents and we took pictures and videos for you. Julio was practically squeeling with happiness."

I love it :) I love getting updates and pictures. It just makes the distance so much easier. Thanks, P!

Hope

2010-03-23T19:43:00.002-04:00

There is hope for our adoption case. Our good friends are in Guatemala right now visiting their girls and had a meeting at CNA yesterday. Things are on hold for them but there is hope for their case and she said she believes there is hope for our case. Things MAY be opening in July if the US accepts it. With the old laws, you could choose your child or at least characteristics of your child. With the new laws, in order to prevent unadoptable children, you may not choose your child or even request characteristics.

HOWEVER, she said that CNA says there will be some exceptions to this law. Age will be a huge factor as will children with disabilities. Well, while some people would think of this as negatives, we are now thinking that God has been with our case all along. I know, you're thinking, DUH BRENNA. Of COURSE He is! And of course we are only going to see evidence when He allows us to see it.

This might just be a glimpse of light. With our family group of 4, Maria's age and Julio's disability, we may be able to be the exception to the rule. Praise God! She is recommending that we (obviously) continue to foster our relationships with the kids and try to get a meeting with CNA when we are there in the summer. She is recommending us to bring our passports to show the time we've been getting to know the kids. That we bring a photo album with pictures of us and the kids together. So, that's what we'll do.

If you are able - please pray that the US would approve the opening of adoptions with Guatemala. Please pray that we would be able to get a meeting and they would like our case. Please pray for our kids, that even though they are safe and healthy and fed and warm and educated, they are not with their family and that does make a difference. Thank you for your prayers so far. God is working and we are feeling it!

God is definitely...

2010-03-06T21:15:00.003-05:00

...working on me right now. We got an email from some very dear friends of ours who are in the midst of their adoption process. I have mentioned them here before - the family with the little girl whose bio-mom was trying to regain custody. Well, some things have gone down in their case and nothing is looking good right now. I got a very long, emotion filled, honest and open email from her this week. I got it at school and spent the rest of the day fighting tears - tears for them, for their girls, for their case, for how her issues also affect OUR case (or lack thereof...). I called KAJ on the way home and told him about it. And when I got off the phone, the tears just rolled. And I prayed.

You see, we've been talking about prayer in small group right now. And this week's topic was God the mountain-mover. And how we need to have faith-filled prayers and not focus our prayer on the mountain in front of us - God already knows about it! Instead, we are to focus our prayers on Him and how awesome and powerful He is, how we know that if He wants to, He can change our situation tomorrow. So my prayers have started to change. I am trying to focus my prayers, not on my needs and wants (He already knows them!!) but instead on faith. That I would have more faith. That I really would believe and trust that He knows what He's doing. That I would believe in my heart and not just my head that He really does have a better ending to our story than I could ever imagine. But not for patience - I don't want Him to give me a situation that makes me have to learn to be patient (Yes, I actually prayed this!) :)

I got an email today from the husband-half of our friends. It was all about how he thinks that God is pushing for him and his wife to grow in their faith as a result of their situation. And he ended his email saying, God CAN move mountains if He chooses. Well, gosh. I read it to KAJ and he kind of chuckled. We looked at each other and both kind of said, okay God. We get it. You want us to have to grow in You through this whole situation. If you just handed over our kids, we wouldn't be learning this new level of faith and relationship with you. So, we get it God. We're ready for the battle.

Prayer

2010-02-25T09:02:00.002-05:00

Our small group is doing a study on prayer. Last night was our second meeting on the topic and let me just tell you, it is rocking my spiritual life (in a good way)! I really struggled to do the work the first week. I didn't understand the scripture and how the questions connected with it... But I wasn't the only one from our group who felt like this! So we all kind of laid it all out last week and really decided to kick it into gear and dedicate fully to this study during this season of Lent. I am really excited about doing this study. Prayer has always been my weak spot spiritually. Sure, I can send up the "please help me with this, please heal that, etc" but to really pray, to really be specific in all - praising, thanking, confessing, not to just lump it all into "God, you know what to do". Of COURSE He does! He's GOD! A lot of praying is for our own sake - our own admission of guilt in confession, actually thanking Him specifically. Asking specifically for true desires of our heart. And being consistent and persistent.

One of the things last night that I read was about the ten lepers that Jesus healed. All of them were grateful but only ONE came back to THANK Jesus. I'm always grateful when God answers prayer but do I take the time to specifically THANK Him for answering the prayers??

Another thing I read that was greatly encouraging to me was how God does NOT want us to say the same thing all the time. He just wants us to be open and honest and just talk to Him. We don't have to use specific words, we should not get tied down and worried about how we sound in front of others. Just talk! But something we discussed last night was how, even though there should not be an expectation of others when praying in public, we should all just be able to be ourselves whether we're fluent or bumbling, as long as we're sincere and honest. But we all agreed that there IS an expectation and that's why some of us (myself included) do not like to pray publicly. There have been many Sundays when I am leading the service at church for Guatemala Sunday's or co-talking with Reid about Guatemala and he has asked me (ahead of time) to do the closing prayer. I know I've looked at him like he has two heads. Pray?? In front of the congregation??? MEEEEE???? And it's because I feel like if I'm leading such a major group in prayer, it's supposed to sound a certain way. And I definitely do NOT sound that way.

But I am learning a lot and am really feeling challenged in this study. We all had a great discussion last night and I'm looking forward to next week. Wednesday can't come fast enough!

Yikes

2010-02-23T15:54:00.001-05:00

Two earthquakes in Guatemala today. Not anywhere near our kids but rather near the missionaries that I'm blog friends with (they're from my mom's church in PA). Please pray for their safety and the Mayans they work with. You can read their blog if you scroll down, it's on the right - the journey.

skype...

2010-02-19T21:44:00.002-05:00

... is my current favorite technology. I am currently (at this very minute) in the middle of a conversation via IM messaging on skype with my son Brigido :) It's not anything in depth but I just love that I am talking with him! I got a message earlier that he said to tell us he misses us and now we're talking. He's the one that I was most worried about bonding with just because of his age but I am finding more and more that his heart is all in just like the rest of ours.

Photos

2010-02-14T15:51:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted pictures from KAJ's trip to Guatemala OR our multiple blizzards. I don't think I have too many pictures of the newest blizzard. I was feeling like I was taking the same pictures over and over the last few snows :-) But here we go!

My oldest and youngest

Dad's little girl :-)

I just really liked the snow on the fence

Our jeans post shoveling. They were frozen like this. Probably could have stood up on their own!

When we lost power, this was my make-do heat source. Didn't quite work out...

Snowing in blizzard #2

View of our street

Shoveling out in blizzard #1 (Notice KAJ's "gloves" - socks! We bought gloves for blizzard #2)

Tears

2010-02-12T21:53:00.002-05:00

I don't know if any of you, my few readers, have been following the Livesay's blog that I have linked. They are missionaries in Haiti and have an amazing story. I found their blog long before the earthquake and have used it to keep true updates of what is going on in Haiti. Tonight, they posted this and I would encourage you to watch. It's beautiful and brought me to tears. Please be in prayer for their family. You can read more on their blog. They are amazing.

LOVE THEM

2010-02-11T20:44:00.002-05:00

Tonight, we embarked on a new adventure. We skyped with our kids. And it was so much fun for all of us :) The kids were taking turns talking to us and some of it was goofy and some of it was real. And a lot was just giggling and watching them watch us in the camera. Julio of course don't have the attention spans for long conversations so we saw him off and on as it went but Maria and Brigido pretty much sat with us the whole time. And Margaro did too. In fact, I think Margaro talked the most of all of them. But they were shy in front of Terri, the missionary whose computer we use, so that's part of it. But it was soooo good to hear their voices and see their cute faces. The first thing they wanted to know was when we were coming to see them. July :-( It's so far away. But at least now with Skype, we can "see" them and they can see us! When we were starting to say goodbye, we were telling them all we loved them and Margaro said he loves us too. And Brigido kept typing while we were talking and it didn't really start to make sense until we were saying goodbye and he said he loves us. That's the first time he's said it back. And I was blowing them kisses and Julio and Margaro are always good for a kiss back :) I love when I can hear the kissing sound. They're so cute. Gosh I miss them... But what a great spirit lifter to hear my kids voices!! Tomorrow I'm going to post some pictures of the house and all the snow online. Terri said she was looking at our facebook profiles to show the kids pictures but we don't have any. So that's tomorrows project. And we're going to skype again next week. I LOVE IT!!

Missing them

2010-02-09T18:38:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we have off school AGAIN. Today, we completed our laundry room/kids and guest bathroom makeover. I don't love the color (it's yellow - Tessa picked it. I wanted a green) but it does look nice. I'm just not a huge fan of yellow, never have been for a paint color, but it really does look good. We're going with a beach theme for the room. Not a flip flop, surf board beach theme, but a seashell, beach colors theme. I got a new shower curtain, a great picture and two shell hooks for the walls. Still working on more decorations but I just LOVE makeovers for rooms!! I love shopping for the room, I love the feeling of pride when it turns out nice. I like showing it off when people come over. Now, obviously people are not going to flock over to see our new bathroom. But it will get mentioned when friends are over. I'm pathetic. I know :) Plus, we've been in this house for 2 1/2 years and we never did ANYTHING to the room. Well, I lie; we added shelves above the laundry part. But everything else is exactly the same as when we moved in. So it was time to add our personal touch.

Tomorrow, we start the master bedroom. I'm so excited!!!! It is currently raining. Should rain and sleet all night and then sometime tomorrow morning, turn to snow and continue ALL DAY. We are in the 6-12 inches range. HOLY COW. Is it okay that even though I'm tired of shoveling out, I LOVE SNOW!!!!!!!

With all this snow falling, I miss the kids. I can't wait until we can get them home and bundle them up to build a snowman, a snow fort, snow angels, sledding, all the kid stuff. I can't wait!

Cold

2010-02-07T17:47:00.002-05:00

Friday night our power went out around 11. No biggie, we'd be sleeping and I'm sure it would come on before we woke up! Nope. Woke up around.... I don't know because our power was out! But when I went to use the bathroom, I thought my cheeks were going to freeze to the seat :) Hurried back to bed to the only warm place in the house. Around 9:30 we decided to figure out what in the world were we going to do. We didn't have power or water since our well pump runs on electricity. We were wishing we had acted sooner on our desire to install a pellet stove insert in the fire place! But we started calling around to see what was open, where we could hang out for a while to warm up and wait for our power to come back on.

We should have known it was going to be bad when the power company's automated message couldn't even estimate when our power MIGHT get turned on. KAJ called all over town to see what was open. Panera? They have hot food, hot drinks, heat, and wi-fi! Nope. YMCA? Hot showers, hot tub, indoor pool, heck, we could work out! Nope. (well, they were closing in 15 minutes when we called.) Denny's? hot food, hot coffee, heat, free wi-fi! Nope. IHOP? Nope. Applebees? Nope. Getting desperate (and more and more cold as the minutes ticked by), I suggested McDonald's. KAJ looked at me like I had 2 heads. Hey! I'm cold and getting hungry and want something warm! So he called and YES they were open!!

So at 11:45 we started layering our clothes to dig out his car (it has 4WD) and head to McD's. We packed books to read and our toothbrushes (I was more worried about the fact that I couldn't brush my teeth than most people probably should be when their power's off but I HATE the morning breath thing!!!), dug out the car enough and by noon off we trekked to MickeyD's. We drove slowly down our street, did well, turned onto Civic Ave and stopped at the light to turn onto 50. We were laughing at this one guy in a little sporty looking car. Why in the world would you choose THAT car to drive around in a blizzard?? The other cars out were trucks, vans, SUVs. Well, needless to say, when the light turned green, his tires spun and he didn't move. I felt bad but we weren't gonna stop. We needed heat!

We got to McD's and were astonished that there were other people there! We heard some of them talking and they all didn't have power either. And since apparently this was the only place open, it was the hot spot! We hung out, charged our cells phones, had lunch, read, drank coffee (well, I did) and finally realized that it was getting even more nasty outside and they were waiting for us to leave to close.

We got safely back onto 50 only to find that it was REALLY difficult to see anything more than 20 feet in front of you and the windshield kept freezing up in spots making it more difficult to see. We passed a truck that had slid into a ditch making me even more anxious than I already was (if that's even possible - I was pretty anxious!!!!). I just prayed the whole way home. Once we turned off of 50 and onto our road, I was much calmer.

Well, then we walked in the door. It was SO COLD in our house. By now it was 3:30 and the power had been off for 16 hours. I had created an arrangement of candles (14 to be exact) on our table to try to created a warm place but it didn't matter. You could literally see your breath in the house. KAJ was getting crankier by the minute. He wanted to go to his mom's to stay (she was at his sister's house) but I didn't want to drive anymore and he wouldn't walk over. So then we were fighting because he thought I was ridiculous for wanting to walk and I thought he was insane for wanting to go back out on the roads. The cold won me over and I disheartenly agreed. We packed our bags with computers, clothes, socks, books, and food and packed the car and left.

It really was much easier of a drive over. Not going on the highway kept me calmer. But the adventure was just beginning. At this point it was 5pm. We got there, left the car in the street (b/c the snow plow had made quite the icy pile at the end of the driveway) and hauled our stuff to the door. And then it happened. Well, didn't happen. The lock was full of ice and the key wouldn't go in the lock. We were locked out. Of course she keeps all her windows locked so we couldn't even "break" in (although you better believe we tried!!). After an HOUR of trying everything we could think of (including breaking in through a window and using the car's lighter to heat the key) I talked him into going to a neighbor. He was so kind as to drag himself out of his warm house, grab an extension cord and heat gun, and we melted that darn ice and got it. Now, it's 6pm and we freezing and hungry. I start dinner, we enjoy our chili, sit down to read and warm up. And at 9pm, it happens. The power goes out. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!?!?!

Thankfully it came back on about 45 minutes later but you better believe KAJ WAS PISSED. Can you blame him?? After a cold day, having to hang out at McD's, sit in our cold house, walk around in knee deep snow for an hour to get INTO the house, ugh.

But now we're home. Our power is back on. Our house is finally warm again. And we are ready to rate the superbowl commercials. But boy, we will certainly remember this blizzard for MANY years to come!!

And so it falls

2010-02-05T18:08:00.002-05:00

The snow, that is. We got out of school early today (12:45 to be exact) in anticipation of the "major winter storm" as the local news is calling it. It was, in fact, flurrying by the time I left and now it is falls. It is not totally sticking to the roads yet, just slush. But it is sticking to the trees. It is BEAUTIFUL outside. God's creativity and beauty never ceases to amaze me.

Letters

2010-02-02T10:45:00.002-05:00

KAJ and I are going to sit down and write letters to our congressmen (and woman) pleading our case for adoption. We are not sure what, if anything, they can do but we don't like sitting around doing nothing. Honestly, only a miracle from God can open things up and get them moving so we are doing lots of praying. But, we also know that God doesn't always want us to just sit around. He will open doors but we have to find the doors first. So, we're going to write letters and send pictures. Asking them to consider fighting for us to open adoptions. Or seeing if they can get us in on this pilot program we keep hearing about. Or, can they just fight to let us be an exception. Anything. We just want to get our voices heard because if we don't speak up for our kids, who else will?

We are also going to write a basic letter for any family or friends who would be willing to send one to their congressmen. If you are willing to do that, can you please contact me (comment or email) and I'll be more than happy to send one to you. You can either email it or print it off and send it. We just want to start flooding the offices of congress about international adoption. Please continue to pray that these letters will land on the desks of the right people, people who will care and who will try to help. Thank you so much for your ongoing support and prayers!

No School

2010-01-31T16:39:00.002-05:00

We have no school tomorrow for a snow day - the first snow day in a long time that actually has earned the name "snow day". We got real snow yesterday. It wasn't snowing as of 8am BUT once it started, it didn't stop until well into the wee hours this morning. It was real snow - not wimpy Eastern Shore snow, not the snow that makes me laugh when people drive 10 mph but real, nobody left their house, snow. We got probably... um.... 8-12 inches, depending on where you measure. They even plowed our road. OUR ROAD. It nevers get plowed, just left to melt on it's own. But it got plowed. And we had to dig out this morning. Of course, because we never get REAL snow, we don't own a snow shovel... So we used the good ol' broom and pulled out 2 regular shovels, just enough to push the snow from out behind the cars. We have two tunnels for our cars in the driveway. Thank goodness it's extremely fluffy so it wasn't difficult or heavy to move. Just tricky without a snow shovel. So, now we're going to buy one. Of course, we probably won't need it for another 5-7 years but, hey, we'll be ready! I'll post pictures once I get them on my computer. You won't believe your eyes!! :)

Frustrating

2010-01-30T10:31:00.002-05:00

Just found this article about UNICEF and it just frustrates me to no end. I learned that UNICEF isn't as great as people think after talking with Lucy, the adoption agent we've been in touch with, and this article just confirms it. It's kind of long but I would encourage you to read it and maybe do something about it. Write an email to your congressman, something, anything. If you feel led to support us, that's the biggest thing you can do right now along with praying.

Check it out!

2010-01-25T17:40:00.000-05:00

Team Guatemala from Soul Discovery Church was in Guatemala last week (you probably remember me complaining and lonely all week...) Well, they did not have internet service while they were there but wanted to make sure that their week was documented so they still blogged every day. So we are now posting their blogs one day at a time this week. Please check it out on the link over there on the right. They had some amazing experiences and I'm excited to read more!!

Happy Birthday!

2010-01-23T21:25:00.003-05:00

My "little" brother is 25 today. Happy birthday, Joe!

I love you!!

Lifted Spirits

2010-01-21T19:15:00.004-05:00

I just got off the phone with KAJ and my kiddos. He said hi, babe, how are you? And I started crying. I miss him so much. When you spend every day with your best friend and then have zero contact with them for days, it can be draining on your emotions. But I could hear my kids in the background talking about me and kept trying to grab the phone from him. They were so chatty tonight. And giggly.

They had some time this afternoon to kill so KAJ, Rick and Mel (the other couple trying to adopt a family) went up and got permission from Alex (the orphanage director) to take the kids to the pool. So our families got to hang out and bond for a while today. I'm so excited for them! And then tonight, they were having a pizza party for the kids at the orphanage and while they were hanging out before dinner, KAJ asked the kids if they wanted to call me. Well, really it went, "Briana? Telefono?" That's my husband and his fluent Spanish! :-) He said they got really excited. As I was talking to them, I could always hear at least two of them equally loud and it made for some funny moments as I couldn't tell who I was talking to. And then Tess came home and she got on the phone so they they weren't sure who THEY were talking to. It was comical. KAJ said that two of them (switch around which 2 at any given time) were sharing the phone so they could hear what I was saying all the time.

I love that they get so excited to talk to me and that they want to talk to Tess. She made Maria a bracelet and Maria is wearing right now. I love that Tess is just as excited about adopting them as we are. I love that all the kids get along so well and love each other so much. I love how much just hearing their voices can lift my spirits. I love them so much!!

I was facebook emailing Terry, the missionary that lives at the orphanage. I saw that another family uses Skype to communicate with the child they are trying to adopt. It's a free video phone thing you use. I told her that I would love to be able to use it to talk to our kids. But I don't want to overwhelm her. So we worked out that we'll "call" them like twice a month. I'm super excited because even though I can't get down there until the summer, we'll still be able to see and talk with our kids!! Sometimes technology is GREAT!

Left Behind

2010-01-20T18:45:00.003-05:00

This sucks. I hate being left behind. KAJ and I have been apart for a lot longer in the past but we were always both traveling, just not together. So right now, being left home while he is in Guate, able to see our kids, this sucks. Last night, after dinner, Tess stayed in her room, vegged out, and I literally didn't talk to anyone from about 6:00 until I went to bed. I am not playing pity party, believe me. I just realized how alone I was feeling. So I looked at pictures, prayed, thought about my kids a lot.

And missed them a whole lot!

Phone Calls

2010-01-18T21:25:00.002-05:00

I was able to talk on the phone yesterday with three of my kids. Let me preface all of this with the fact that KAJ was in the park with the kids so there were other kids around, primarily Rene who was in possession of a whistle. So I was had Maria on the phone first and I was asking her if she liked the photo albums we made and the shirt we bought her. She kept saying, what? what? So KAJ took the phone back and turns out he hadn't given her the shirt so she didn't know what I was talking about :-) Then I tried to talk to Julio. I was asking him questions and I couldn't tell if he was talking or not. KAJ got back on the phone and said he was just jabbering away, occassionally nodding in response to a question. Of course I can't HEAR the nods :-) Then Margaro got on the phone and kept accidentally pushing buttons. I was trying to talk to him but he was just yaking away, not really paying any attention to me :-) KAJ said he was holding the phone for the boys and wasn't sure if their mouths were near the talk part.

KAJ put Maria back on the phone and it was much better the second time. She said the pictures are beautiful and thank you. I told her I loved her. She said something back. I wasn't sure what it meant. Margaro got back on the phone and it went better as well. He was asking when I was coming to see him. I told him I loved him and he said the same thing that Maria said in response. So KAJ's job is to talk to Zulema (the translator) and find out what it means. We think it's a slang term response.

Brigido wasn't there so KAJ is going to call again later in the week with the kids. I think a lot of the problem was that they are not used to talking on the phone. I just love hearing their voices. When KAJ was on the phone, I could hear them talking about me to him. I wish so much that I was there but I'm glad that at least KAJ can be there and have time with them.

Missing them

2010-01-17T08:52:00.003-05:00

I am here, at my mom's but I am missing my husband and my kids IMMENSELY! I keep looking at the clock, wondering what they are doing, where they are going.

Friday night/Saturday morning at 1:15, part of the mission team met at our house for Reid to pray over. It was a great mini-social time. I was doing really well, answering last minute questions, helping shift around overweight suitcases. Family members loaded back into their cars to head home for bed. They loaded the truck with luggage, the van with excited team members, the doors closed, they honked the horn and off they went.

And I lost it. I stood on our front steps, watching the cars drive away, and sobbed. I walked back into my empty house, turned off the lights, locked the doors, and sobbed. I know that God has a reason I'm not in Guatemala but I would sure like to know what it is because this sucks.

Today is kind of a free day for the team so KAJ is planning on getting the kids and a phone and they're going to call me. I can't wait to hear the voices of my babies. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to talk to them about but I have a dictionary and I'll figure something out :-)

Three day weekend!

2010-01-09T15:44:00.003-05:00

So I awoke to my phone ringing it's text message alert yesterday morning. No school - snow day! Let me just tell you, it was a pathetic snow day. By 9:00am, the roads were melted dry. A two hour delay would have been sufficient (we really didn't need ANYTHING but I would never turn down sleeping in!!!) but instead, they called the whole day off and now, in June, when it's hot and a great beach day, I'll still be in school another day. It's really pitiful what they call snow down here. I miss my PA snow days! :-)

However, it was nice to have an unexpected three day weekend. Yesterday was my lay around day and today I've been busting my butt around the house. I got quite a few large tasks checked off of my to do list. I'm pretty proud of myself if I may say so!

Tess is out sitting at the table taking a practice SAT. She voluntarily signed up to take a free SAT prep class after school 2 days a week. The first class is on her birthday (she's NOT excited about that!) and before the first class, she has to take an exam. I assume they're going to analyze where her weaknesses are and address those with her. She's taking it very seriously, too. Her dad and I are very proud of the fact that she's really doing a great job at keeping her grades up and looking to prepare for college. So there she sits, taking a test on Saturday :-)

I'm really kind of homesick for my family today. I don't know what it is but I am really wishing that I lived in Carlisle today. I miss my mom and Nanny and brother and cousins today... Even if I didn't live in Carlisle, I at least wish we lived closer. I love having family game nights with aunts and uncles and cousins. It's so much fun. I could really use one of those tonight... Love you guys!!!

New Years Resolution

2010-01-04T19:57:00.002-05:00

I normally don't make new years resolutions. However, I was having a really rough morning New Years Day, you know the day of my later meltdown, and I was taking it all out on my husband. Picking at every little thing and throwing it in his face. I was being down right nasty. And I would not normally share my personal dirty laundry on here but I think it's important for me to keep myself accountable. I decided as I cried through my first shower back in the States that I needed to change my attitude towards my husband. I take him for granted big time. I have control issues that I work on but I still have them. I decided that I need to start focusing more on his positive traits, and not on his negative. PLEASE don't get me wrong, I am not down on him every minute of every day. I do acknowledge MANY of his positives. But I spend way too much on his negatives.

So, I have to tell you that I don't know if it's mental, but I can already notice a change in my attitude. I recognize that I am making it a point to notice the good things. We have a great marriage. It's really for my own emotions that I am doing this. He is a wonderful husband, patient, loving, considerate. It's mostly on my end that I struggle. So God is helping me to work on this.

Catch up and Melt down

2010-01-01T17:52:00.002-05:00

I know. I've been a bad blogger as of late. BUT it's been Christmas and we've been in Guatemala. We just got back from a glorious 5 days of no work, all play with our four babes in Guate. I just love it there. Tess also went along and we had some grand family bond time. It was wonderful. We were able to take the kids for hours and hours everyday. We took them to the mission house for movies and games, to the pool for swimming, into town for drinks and snacks. We played with their friends up at the orphanage - we played Uno, fooseball, we brought their friends toys and trinkets and candy and KAJ played Santa Claus the first full day we were there. The kids (all of them!) loved it. We had such a great time. I can't even begin to put into words how wonderful it was to have my family together again.

Of course, when we have an amazing time and I'm on a high. And you know what happens after a high, a crashing low. And boy did I have one. This afternoon I was having computer troubles (keep in mind I haven't been home but someone else was using it!!) and I lost it. I was sobbing about some really stupid stuff and it's really just because I miss my kids. I don't know how to describe the pain of having to say goodbye to your babies, not being the one to tuck them in, to wipe the tears when they scrape their knees, to miss their smiles when they have a good story, to miss their hugs, to not be there when they just want to hold your hand, to not be around for any of it.

KAJ will be returning with the mission team in 2 weeks and I know it will be good for him and the kids to see each other again. It was good to be able to tell them that he would be back so soon. But my 7 year old looked up at me on our last day and said, but when will YOU be back? I fought back tears and just shrugged because I was trying to swallow the lump in my throat. It's frustrating, this intercountry adoption thing. I don't question for a second that God has called us to these 4 children. They are our children. I just wish we all lived together...

Only days to go

2009-12-22T20:42:00.003-05:00

Christmas, the birth of our Savior, is only days away. I am in love with nativity sets and have been trying not to buy too many of those type of things b/c I feel you CAN have too many!! :-) But they just remind me of the struggle of Mary and Joseph and what a strain it put on their relationship, how Mary must have felt knowing she was raising the son of GOD. I know I hope every day that I am making the right decisions to help raise Tessa into a young lady of God. I can't even begin to imagine the doubts that Mary must have had in Jesus' young years. I am amazed and awed by the love that God has for ME that He would give up his ONLY CHILD for ME. I cannot begin to comprehend giving up a child. What an amazing gift God has given us, the best gift of all - the greatest act of love AND eternal life. Eternal.... there's another thing I cannot begin to comprehend.

On another note, in 4 days, I will be lounging in bed in GUATEMALA! Woo Hoo!!

Adoption update

2009-12-19T16:21:00.002-05:00

I spent an hour on the phone this morning with a lady from an adoption agency. She was filling me in on the newest developments in the Guatemalan adoptions. LOOONG story short, things are looking very dismal at this point. With the new laws, any child 16 or older is no longer eligible which means our daughter Maria is no longer eligible. So we are now changing gears for her. Our best bet is to get her here on a student visa. So we are now pursuing that option. And that option IS possible (by human standards).

However, our boys are another story. Unless the US Department of State changes its stance on intercountry adoptions with Gautemala, things do not look promising. We talked about the idea of getting Julio here on a medical visa but unless his condition is life threatening (it's not), that is not probable. If nothing else, we will push to get them each here on student visas when they hit the high school age.

We may end up being a family that lives in two different countries but we will be a family. We already ARE a family. We truly believe in our hearts that they are our children. So whether or not they actually live with us, they are still our kids.

So we will PRAY. We will be contacting our senators to see if we can meet with them and explain our case. And we will PRAY. We will be trying to get a meeting with a bigwig at CNA in Guatemala. And we will PRAY. While things do not look good here on earth, God has a bigger plan going on. Only HE knows what the future of our family looks like. Only HE can make people change their minds, or congressmen change their votes, or move paperwork through the system. So we will PRAY.

Will you join us in praying for the Department of State to consider the CHILDREN affected by their decisions, not just the policies? Will you join us in praying that UNICEF will change their stance on the adoptions? Will you join us in praying for the hearts of congress as they vote on policies that affect these children they will never know? We are asking you to join our prayer team, not just for our 4 children, but for all the children that have been abandoned or orphaned. They each deserve to be able to live with their families.

What a morning!

2009-12-12T15:17:00.003-05:00

The cookbooks families just finished a 4 1/2 hour marathon session of cookbook making. We made 60 books. And all but 3 are already sold. We will be doing another marathon session next weekend so if you want yours in time for Christmas, there's still time to order!!

PRAYER NEEDED

2009-12-04T17:17:00.002-05:00

I hope she doesn't mind but I'm going to post this. We met an amazing family in Guatemala this summer. They are from New England and are in the process of adopting 2 girls from the orphanage. When I say, in the process, they truly are deep in the middle of this. Their girls are SOO sweet and cute. They are not biologically related. They found out this week that the biological mother of the older girl is looking for reunification. This has rocked the world of this family. They have heard that this is a very good possibility even though it is not necessarily in her best interest. Please be in prayer for their family that they would be at peace with whatever decision is made. Please pray for their daughter that she would be able to understand everything that's going on. Please pray for her sister, that she would also understand that she is still loved and not being abandoned. Please pray for the judge that will be over the case, that they would follow God's lead even if it's not traditionally accepted in Guatemala. Please pray for the biological mother, that she would be doing this with the right intentions. Please pray for the leaders at the mission, that they would have the right words to defend this little girl.

She is a precious girl and God is ultimately over this whole situation. As you can imagine, our friends are upset but taking it one step at a time.

Proof of our project

2009-12-03T21:09:00.001-05:00

I know it's goofy but I'm so proud of it! It looks GREAT! (I know I'm bragging...) :-)

New Pic

2009-11-30T16:23:00.002-05:00

In case you missed it, there's a new picture of our kids. I was looking at the new Hope of Life website and found it. I laughed so hard. I'm not sure why but I just think it's so funny. I guess because they all look like they want to die of embarrassment :-) Just like typical kids!

They're HERE

2009-11-28T23:03:00.003-05:00

The cookbooks are finished and ready for purchase!! If you would like to purchase one (or more!) for yourself, for Christmas gifts, for birthday gifts, for bridal showers, for "just thinking of you" gifts, they are ready! If you just want to support our adoptions, they are ready!

There are about 50 PAGES (front AND back) of recipes donated by people like YOU! Each section is divided with colored cardstock, has a clear plastic cover to help protect from those random splashes when it's sitting on your counter :-)

They are $15 each. I will post a picture this week. KAJ claims "they almost look professional!" :-) Thanks, honey...

Just email me or leave a comment and I will get in touch with you.

Thanks for supporting us!

AWESOME

2009-11-22T17:15:00.002-05:00

I just spent the weekend in OC with 6 girls from our youth group and an adult front. We had an amazing time! We stayed overnight Friday in a condo that's LITERALLY almost the size of my HOUSE! It was so nice!! Right on the boardwalk on 15th. We had the corner condo will balcony all around overlooking a gorgeous sunrise. We spent a few hours of freetime at the beach and the boardwalk near the inlet doing photo shoots and playing on the sandbar. We went through the haunted house and just hung out, walking the boardwalk. The speakers were so entertaining and the topics were perfect for middle school. I took quite a few pages of notes myself. The worship was meaningful. We sat in the back on the tiered seating overlooking the floor seating and it was awesome to watch 2000+ middle school kids singing, praising God.

To me, the most powerful thing of the weekend was the presentation of Jesus' death and salvation plan. It was a 15 minute video and you had no idea until the very end that the point was Jesus' death. Reggie, the speaker, narrated the video and he is quite the story teller. Sometime this week I'll explain the video (or see if I can find it on youtube) but let me just tell you, it ended with me, Mary and Katie in tears and the other girls with shocked looks and hands over their mouths. It was so emotional and awesome. We then watched as 80-100 youth made their way down for the altar call. Reggie led us all in the prayer for their salvation and I cried my way through that too. It was a great experience for all of us, adult and youth alike. We're already planning on next year's trip and what we want to do differently. I can't wait!!! :-)

I'll post pictures soon

Random stuff

2009-11-17T20:13:00.002-05:00

So I did it. I put on some REAL music, turned down the volume on Jillian, and did it. I Shredded! And Tess even made dinner and sang along to my music while I did it. And boy am I SORE today!!

----------------------------------------------

Like my new background?? I told KAJ that I couldn't wait any longer. He said, what do you mean? I turned my screen around and he just burst out laughing. I said, what? it's not like it SAYS Christmas. He said, no, it just screams it. :-)

---------------------------------------------

I finally broke down and got a facebook account.... I've been battling it and rebelling against it but then KAJ got the new pictures of the kids (as seen on the right of this page) from a friend in Guatemala and I hate that he can see them and I can't. So I signed up... I'm trying not to get addicted. We'll see.

--------------------------------------------

It's American Education week. I've had 3 parents in my room. Except today I think one was there by mistake. Her son's math teacher walked into my room for something and the mom followed her out. I don't think she really wanted to see my class.

-------------------------------------------

My pastor's wife and I are taking 9 girls to a youth conference in OC this weekend. We're even staying in a hotel Friday night. It's so close, we talked about driving back and forth but felt it adds so much to the experience to stay over and have that bonding time. I'm super excited actually!! Please pray that the girls (and myself) are touched and open our hearts to hear what is said this weekend. I think it's going to be a great time!! It's a unique group of girls, some have money, some are mentor girls that have been coming to church lately. They all seem to get along and I think we're going to have a blast! :-)

Much motivation needed

2009-11-16T16:38:00.003-05:00

So I went shopping this weekend and tried on some leggings. I kind of like the whole short dress/legging look but have yet to try it until this weekend. I'm not sure if it fits my body type or not but I thought, it's worth a shot. It wasn't terrible with the right top. But I am not totally confident with my legs in leggings. I would like a little more toned. So today I came home, immediately changed into workout clothes, ready to do the dreaded Shred. I haven't shredded for WEEKS and even then, it was only once and had been months before that. So, needless to say, I'm a little untoned and out of shape. But I was geared up and ready to go!

Here I sit, exactly one hour later, listening to some Christian music in Spanish, reading blogs, looking at facebook pictures, procrastinating. I need to get up off my butt but I just don't feel like it! I know I'm not ever going to FEEL like it. But goodness, I REALLY don't want to!!

I need some serious motivation here...

Time of Rest...

2009-11-11T16:14:00.002-05:00

... or is it?

So the show is over. It was SOOOO much fun. But I am enjoying having evenings off again. I came home from work yesterday, got into sweats and camped out on the couch for hours. That's right, hours. I put a major chunk of time into the cookbook. It was great to just be home!

But not tonight. Tonight is our church leadership meeting, tomorrow I have choir rehearsal. I am singing in a Christmas program at a nearby church. And I am super excited to sing with adults. Friday is an extra cast party from the show. Next weekend I'm going with the youth group to an overnight conference in OC. And then I'm supposed to be directing a play for our church's Christmas program. I'm a little nervous about it - not the directing part but do we have enough actors and TIME to put this together?!?!?!

And then, all the time during this, my heart (and hubs and step-daughter) is counting down to our trip - 43 days until we see our kids in case you're wondering :-) Still praying that God will open the doors needed for our adoptions!!

Venting

2009-11-04T16:34:00.002-05:00

Can I moan and groan and vent and complain for just a minute? Sure, it's my blog. If you don't want to read it, I'm okay with that.

As you know, we have been collecting recipes to put together a cookbook as a fundraiser for our God-willing upcoming adoption. We are collaborating with another family from town as they are also preparing to adopt from the same orphanage. I created a flyer and posted about it on my blog. I sent out emails to our friends and family. KAJ and I put flyers in every mailbox in both of our schools. We placed flyers at church. He posted about it on facebook. Mel did the same. She got a ton of response! Without her, our cookbook would be less than wonderful.

Our friends and family did not respond to the extent that I expected. Quite a few people said, oh that's nice. You should ask ____ for this recipe. OR, that's awesome! I have a few I'll send your way. And never did... I was really hoping that our families would be supportive and talk it up to their co-workers and friends and churchs. And never did... I was hoping that my co-workers would get excited and help out. And a bunch of them got excited and had lots of questions but never helped out.

I guess I'm just feeling very under supported and pretty surprised that more of my friends and family didn't help with this project. Now, I'm not taking for granted those that DID help and we REALLY appreciate your support. I'm not overlooking you! I'm just pretty bummed that more people didn't help.

I know, I have nothing to complain about and I'm sure you all have a hundred things you could say to 'make me feel better'. I don't really want to hear them. I just wanted to complain for a few minutes. Thanks for listening.

All Shook Up

2009-11-03T16:40:00.002-05:00

I have been awful about blogging lately!

We have been just keeping our heads above water the last week and half, which is typical as show weekend approaches. This coming Friday, Saturday and Sunday is the performance of "All Shook Up", a musical using Elvis music. It's so much fun and entertaining but right now, it's exhausting. Only because we've had rehearsal EVERY NIGHT.

So that's really why I haven't blogged lately.

Life is good. My parents are coming this weekend, which I'm super excited about. I love when they get to visit. The show is going to be GREAT. And I get to see my babies in 53 days :-) Life is good.

Much better thank you!

2009-10-20T15:24:00.000-04:00

I feel SOOOO much better today. In fact, I feel a little guilty that I didn't go to work today. But I also think that I just needed the extra sleep and rest time to really recover. I am still a little congested BUT, my word, I am SO much better!

I woke up around 9:30, read on the couch until noon and started getting restless so I did it. I cleaned the house. Well, I dusted the main living spaces, vacuumed (and edge vacuumed) the family room, dining room, hallway and both bathrooms, and scrubbed down all the cabinets (mostly outside, a few inside) in the kitchen. Oh, and I wiped down the bathroom and kitchen sinks. All in about 2 hours. I feel GREAT!

I know, I stayed home from school, I should be sleeping and laying about. But yesterday I did that and I didn't get to sleep until well after midnight. I actually have to sleep tonight to be able to get up tomorrow so I figured it's okay to do some *light* housework!

I was talking to KAJ at lunch and told him I felt guilty for staying home today, kind of like I was skipping. He reminded me of something I read just a few days ago. Usually a cold should leave your body in just a few days but it ends up hanging around for 2-3 weeks because we don't get enough rest. So I should just take today as a rest day. And really, don't I work hard enough that if I want to take a day off to rest up and clean my house, that should be OKAY and I should NOT feel guilty!

Home sick

2009-10-19T19:26:00.003-04:00

Not HOMESICK but home sick. That's right. I've been hit by the sick bug of some sort. I had to miss church/youth group and rehearsal yesterday with a 101/102 fever. I called out for today. My fever broke during the night and today I pretty much just laid around and coughed. I bundled up like nobody's business and went to Tess's hockey game with strict instruction from the music director to NOT show up to rehearsal tonight. Now I'm back at home laying on the couch with a 101 fever again. so I called out for tomorrow and am missing school, PTA and rehearsal again.

UGH

I know my body needs and is crying out for a break and sleep (and believe me, I'm not happy but obliging it) but I actually wish I could clean my house! :-/

Adorable

2009-10-17T21:18:00.002-04:00

Taken by Brigido, it's a little blurry but look at this little face. Couldn't you just kiss all over him?? I could! :-)

The reason why...

2009-10-10T06:52:00.001-04:00

...we can't go forward with our adoptions at this moment. THIS is what they are trying to prevent.

Faith vs Works

2009-10-08T19:13:00.001-04:00

Last night in small groups we were discussing the idea of faith versus works and can you have faith without doing works. We decided that this will forever be a debate among people, that the Bible states that salvation is through faith alone. And while I of course believe that, I also strongly feel that as Christians, people who claim the love of Christ, we should WANT to do works. We should do them out of obedience but we should not feel put out, so to speak, by HAVING to do works.

When you look at Christ's life, yes, He did a lot of preaching. But when you really look at how He lived, didn't He affect more people by the way he acted? By the love He showed them? By His generosity and kindness and willingness to forgive? Isn't that sometimes, well let's be honest, usually how people can be the best witness? We should be drawing people in to the church by our compassion and open hearts and unconditional love. That does not mean we should love their sins, just that we should show them that God loves them NO MATTER WHAT skeletons they have in their closets (basements, attics, trunks of their cars).

I've been reading some youth ministry blogs and one idea that I love is that during the fall and winter, every Saturday, one youth group would go out in town and serve hot coffee and hot chocolate to the people on the street. They said the first week was the toughest; they did a lot of drive-bys and not out handing out. They were nervous. But the next week they were back out there and gave out 2 cups. They said it was great to start just talking to the people, not to shove church down their throats, just to show kindness and thoughtfulness to them. They now have quite a crowd on Saturdays and they have connected with their community.

I think that is what real action looks like. Of course going into the mission field is action but not everyone is called to full time missions. However, God has called us to be full time Christians and that means SHOWING (not just talking) His love to those around us.

What are YOU doing to show God's love?

Yummy

2009-10-06T21:47:00.000-04:00

I have to tell you, in typing up this recipe book, I am finding some REALLY yummy ideas. Especially for desserts... :-) The recipes are finally starting to come in consistently but we are still in need for lots or recipes!! I know we are low on beef, pork or fish recipes. We have a decent number of chicken but don't let that stop you if you have a great chicken recipe! We also are in need of snack food type items and soups. BUT WE NEED MORE OF EVERYTHING! Those are just the ones we're low on.

If you have a friend with a really good dish, tell them what we're doing, ask for the recipe and pass it along! :-)

Thank you!

countdown to Christmas

2009-10-02T22:42:00.002-04:00

Yes, I just said Christmas. We just bought our Christmas gifts to ourselves. We are officially booked for a trip to see our kids :-) God is just full of little gifts to us today (see post below from earlier today). You might remember a Dear Santa letter I wrote a week or two ago. I was asking for cheap flights to Guatemala. Well, I've been looking at many different cheap travel sites daily and travelocity has been the cheapest. I've been eying a flight for around what we were willing to pay but I just was so hesitant to book it. I got on tonight and found a flight for $100 cheaper PER TICKET. We are saving what it would cost to book a 4th ticket if we wanted!

KAJ kept telling me to wait, if God wanted us to go, He was going to give us a great price on a ticket, one that fit into our budget. And He did. On the same day that He gave us a gift towards our adoption fund.

I feel like the Christmas I got a phone for my room! (HAHA mom, remember that??)

Here's the only kicker. We take off and return to different DC area airports. So someone will have to take us and pick us up but we figure we can work that out. It's worth the extra money we're saving!!

God's timing is best. Really.

God's amazing

2009-10-02T16:02:00.002-04:00

I know, that's pretty obvious. BUT He also has a way of surprising us with little mini miracles along this road often called adoption. As you hopefully know, we are creating a cookbook to raise funds for our adoption. Just this past Monday, I FINALLY put the flyers in everyone's mailbox at school. I know, I could be considered lazy because, after all, we have been working on this since late August. BUT I like to say I was waiting until the beginning of the new school year calmed down. That makes sense!

So I have gotten a few donations of recipes this week which is great. This morning I was in my room, getting ready for the day, and one of the counselors walks in and hands me a check. She said, when I got your flyer, I thought, oh I should give Brenna $25. The Lord said, no. You shouldn't. I want you to give her more.

The check was for $100.

She went on to say that she hasn't been going to church for about a year because she felt God wanted her to leave her old church and she just hasn't found a new one yet. So she wants to give us the money from her paychecks for a while that she would normally be giving a church until she finds a new church. WOAH.

I don't quite know how to feel about that. On one hand, I'm really excited and extremely overwhelmed by her generosity. On the other hand, how does God feel about that? Am I being selfish to take money that should be going to Him? Or is this something He considers a mission and blesses it?

Even if we never get another penny from her, we are truly blessed by God's prompting and generosity of her. We are now going to start our new bank account specifically for our adoption fund. We feel a little empowered by this and hopeful that God is going to move mountains so we can bring our children home.

Recipes NEEDED

2009-09-29T16:02:00.002-04:00

Without begging, I'm begging.

We really want to make this cookbook happen and we are in dire need of recipes. Yes, we have some but in order to make it worthwhile and worth the effort and cost, we need more.

Please?

Please share our story with your friends, family and coworkers. Even if you don't cook, ask your friends for their recipes of your favorite foods :-)

Please?

New family members

2009-09-28T18:12:00.001-04:00

I am going to be a step-aunt and a sister-in-law. My cutie tootie little brother got engaged this weekend! YAY!!! :-)

Congratulations, J and J!! Love you guys!

Just so you know

2009-09-19T11:04:00.002-04:00

The adoption agency we want to use for our case is located somewhere in New England. I actually don't even know the name of it. We just know we want to work with them. They are the agency that got the first case pushed through CNA, the new Guatemalan government agency that deals with adoptions, after it switched from PGN, the old Guatemalan government agency. And they were successful because they really pushed for the child, who was also disabled. They are the agency that has pushed things quickly in order to get Mel's (who we've never met but feel like we know and is friends with Pam and John, our new friends in Conneticut) case through CNA quickly. Her and her husband are adopting four boys, two of whom KAJ and I know very well and we know the other two enough to say hi and smile and they are the SWEETEST boys!!, and the oldest is 18. Which, as you may remember from my own rantings, 18 is that magic number where the kids can age-out and no longer be adoptable. BUT I just got an email from Pam saying that Mel should be getting a call any day to go get her boys!!! I can't even tell you how happy and excited I am for her and for the boys. I know they talked all summer about how they were coming to live in the States and how happy they are! I am so excited for them!!

Anyhow, from a great recommendation and knowing they have a great record with CNA, we want to use this agency. A few weeks ago, they were pretty against talking to us because they are absolutely not accepting any new cases until things open up between Guatemala and the States. Well, I guess on the pleadings of Pam, Mel and a gentle push from God, I got an email this week from Pam saying that they were willing to talk to us, hear our case, talk through some of the things we can do before things open to prepare. So I gave her my number and when I am available every day and now we wait. I would think they'll probably call in the next week or so and I'm pretty excited. Just to talk to someone, ask questions, explain our story.

Please continue to pray that God will continue to bless our case and open doors. We want to bring our kids home. And if you want to help, please donate recipes to our book. It's not growing as fast as I had thought and hoped it would. We need LOTS more recipes. Even if you don't cook but can pass along a friend or relatives recipes or invite them to join with us as well. We don't need to know you to include you!! God will use everyone! :-)

Christmas Wish

2009-09-14T20:53:00.002-04:00

Dear Santa,

How are you? I'm good. I want to tell you I've been a very good girl this year. I was hoping you could get me a really good Christmas gift. For Christmas, I want a plane ticket to Guatemala to see my babies. I have been searching the cheap tickets internet sites and I keep getting my hopes up but it's just not the perfect ticket. I need the plane to depart and return to the same airport. That's not too much to ask, is it? And, maybe make it under $400 (even WITH taxes)??? Please, Santa??

Just see what you can do. Thanks!
Brenna

long time

2009-09-10T18:41:00.002-04:00

I know, I have been awful at blogging since we've gotten back from Guatemala. To be honest, I just haven't felt drawn to write anything. Every day I think about my babies 1700 miles away by plane. I think about how to decorate their rooms (in fact, I bought 2 butterflies to hang on Maria's wall) and what size clothes they might wear when they finally come home. But I just haven't felt drawn to write about it.

The cookbook is coming along slowly. We haven't gotten too many recipes yet so if you have some you'd like to submit, send them right along! :-) I am getting ready to ask every one at work and I know that news is spreading around the building about our potential adoptions because random people have been approaching me about it. My friends at work are super excited and are spreading the idea of the cookbook. I think it's going to be GREAT!

School has started. Tomorrow is the end of week two and it's going very well. I have one class that was really rough the first 2 days. So rough that, after the second day, I went to one of my principals and said, "F..... and I are NOT going to make it this year!" But, they were better this week. I have that class again tomorrow and tomorrow is a pretty structured lesson so it should go okay. AND it's FRIDAY! That always makes it just a little better :-)

Rehearsals have started for "All Shook Up". It's going to be a fun show but it is taking a lot more rehearsal time than I planned. It'll be worth it (I hope!)

That's just a brief run down of my life right now. Sometime soon I hope to be in the mood of blogging. Oh and, I am on the search for a great devotion blog and a great youth leader blog. If you know of one, can you let me know? Thanks!!

Birthday Surprise

2009-08-31T18:17:00.005-04:00

A few weeks late but....
Happy birthday to us

Happy birthday to us

Happy birthday to us

Happy birthday to us!

Thanks babe! It was an amazing gift!

Love to cook? Or at least eat good food?

2009-08-20T22:51:00.006-04:00

We are off and running in anticipation of our upcoming adoption. We are working with our good friends (who happen to live in our town and are also in the exact same place in their own adoptions of a family of 4 from Hope of Life) to begin our fundraising efforts. We all feel called to this great adventure but we definitely need prayers and support of others.

SO

We are creating a budget friendly, kid friendly, family favorite cookbook. We are currently calling all recipes from friends and family, fellow bloggers, coworkers, friends of friends, anyone who has a recipe they like to send it our way. You can email, snail mail, hand deliver, carrier pigeon, we'll take it! And we'll love it!

Our goal is to have the cookbooks ready to purchase in time for Christmas. So begin thinking now of who you know that needs a new cookbook for Christmas! :-) Tie a wooden spoon to the front and you've got a great gift!

But right now, we just need your recipes. Please share. By sharing, you are under NO obligation to purchase. If you feel so called, don't hesitate to share our story with others and invite them into our adventure as well! Now get digging into your files and send them our way! :-) (I'm looking for great guacamole and salsa recipes if you happen to have one!!!)Help bring our children home!

Pictures and more adoption stuff

2009-08-17T20:50:00.005-04:00

Just letting you know that 191 of our 596 summer pictures are now posted. Just look for the Guatemala 09 album.

*WARNING* the rest is adoption stuff so if you're not interested, I'm not offended if you stop reading. My heart is just full of love and hope and emotions I don't have words for right now about our upcoming life changing event.

I also wanted to show you the happiness that our adoption has given Maria. Everyone that works with her and in the office has noticed it. She's so much more happy and alive now that she knows. And here is just a little proof. The top picture is before she knew - smiling, content.

But the second picture is from the day she found out that we wanted her and her family. Just look at how her smile radiates and her face is just gorgeously lit up.

Please pray with us as we begin this journey to bring our kids home. Pray that adoptions would open between the US and Guatemala as we are on a time frame. Maria will age out at 18 and she is currently 16. So we have a little bit of time but not much in the adoption world. Julio has fetal alcohol syndrome and his leg is disfigured, which means he walks with a brace but we are hoping that being in the States will get him more health care that will help him. He has great cognitive skills though. His speech is great. He just needs someone working with him on detail stuff. For instance, he knows his color words but doesn't know which word goes with what color. Like, if you point to blue, he might say red. and I don't believe he's color blind. I believe he's just never had anyone actually teach him.

All that to say, this is why CNA is excited about our case. They believe that no one in Guatemala would be able to adopt this family, that not many people want families of 4 with an older child and a child with special needs. When we talk to people, they say to us, wow. You guys are special. We could never do that! We don't feel by any means that we are any more special than any other people. This is the family that God has called us to adopt. This is the family we love and we believe that God is going to equip us to fulfill what He has called us to do.

I love these guys.

Yardwork, Schmardwork

2009-08-14T19:09:00.003-04:00

We spent all day working on our front yard. We have a picture in our head of what we want to see there and we took the day to begin to get there. KAJ lopped down 4 bushes all the way down to their stumps. We plan on digging out the roots and planting different bushes in the spring. We want hydrangea bushes along the house. Right now it looks so open and clean! I cut the grass and raked the front lawn of leaves and spiky balls (the devil created those, by the way).

KAJ also lopped down the butterfly bush in the backyard. Later this weekend we plan on taking down some fence. We are preparing to replace our septic tank. We still haven't heard from ANY of the bazillion places KAJ contacted for estimates!! So now the plan is to call them all again on Monday to check in. We don't want to bother them but seriously! How long can it take to put together some numbers??

I have not forgotten about posting pictures from our trip. I just haven't gotten to it yet. I actually haven't loaded them onto my computer yet. That's why you're still waiting... I'll get there. I promise!

Home at Last

2009-08-10T15:45:00.002-04:00

So I am feeling lazy. I feel like I need to upload pictures and video for you all to see from our AWESOME trip to Guatemala.

HOWEVER

I have unpacked, gone grocery shopping (I made the list on the plane last night. I even asked the guy beside me what he likes to eat for dinner. thought maybe I could get some new options. not so much.), had a meeting with one septic guy (KAJ made a TON of phone calls this morning. I think we're getting like 5 estimates!), gone through the mail, and showered. Now, please don't sound so surprised about that last item on the list. I DO occassionally shower. Today was just your lucky day :-)

After all of that, I don't so much want to take the time to go through all the pictures and video. I actually need to buy a new power cord for my computer and am using KAJ's computer at the moment so I'm going to blame the lack-of-own-computer as my excuse for no media yet.

But I wanted to tell you also about our last 2 days.

Saturday we spent the day at a waterpark with ALL OF THE ORPHANS. It was soooo much fun and they just had a blast. There were some decent slides and nice baby pools so every kid was excited and busy the whole time. We spent lots of time with our kids but also with the other kids we have gotten to know very well. We also got a nice Guatemalan sunburn. It's different, you know, than a Maryland sunburn ;-) We had lunch there and right before we left, one lady bought ice cream for everyone. It was just a nice day!

We brought the kids down to the cabana for dinner both Friday and Saturday nights. Saturday, dinner was later than normal so we were there in the dark. They LOVED the pool lights that change color. It also stormed while we were there. The president of World Help, an organization that gives money to ministries in over 60 countries, was there Saturday so we had a fiesta, with tons of food, the Cuban band was there, and a group of orphan girls came and did a dance for them. I warned our kids that there was going to be lots of food and they didn't need to take everything. Well, wouldn't you know that the older boys took EVERYTHING and then tried to pass to KAJ and myself what they didn't want/like. And then Margaro just kept eating. He went back up and got dessert. Then he saw cake and wanted that. Then he went back for fruit. We just had to laugh. They did a presentation and Julio ended up falling asleep on my lap, Margaro was drifting. Even Brigido looked like he wasn't going to make it much longer. It was just so sweet.
Lourdes stopped by our table and was saying that she's going to get our letter to CNA this week and she is just so excited for us. She started getting choked up a bit as she was talking. She said she has never seen our kids so happy and she knows that God is going to bless us. Even Alex (the director of the orphanage) said that he has never seen the older two kids have so much joy in their eyes. Please keep praying for us. We know it's going to be a rollercoaster ride but we have so much faith that this is exactly what we're supposed to be doing!

Just one more thing. You may or may not realize this about me (and if you only know me through my blog than you might not), but I am NOT the most graceful of human beings. If there is a way to hurt yourself, I will find it! HOWEVER what I am about to tell you was done with no help on my part. It was completely NOT my fault. It literally just happened to me. Saturday afternoon, after the waterpark, we were sitting on a bridge by the kids' house. There is a small ditch and there's a wooden plank bridge that goes over it. We were blowing bubbles and just hanging out. I went to stand up and, with Raquel draped all over me, my foot broke through a plank on the bridge and my leg went with it. My left leg went through the wood and was stuck all the way to about midthigh. My initial reaction was oh my gosh. What if I break my leg on our last day! or I thought the wood was going to have gashed my leg and blood was going to start pouring out. I am so thankful that all I did was scrape a lot of skin off my leg. And now I have a SERIOUS bruise on my outer left thigh, my inner thigh, and on my knee, and I struggle to walk because my muscle is so bruised. DON'T WORRY. I will post a picture for you all to see :-)

Thank you all so much for your prayers during our trip. We had an amazing time as always. Please be praying for our adoption process as it begins.

Possible Adoption update

2009-08-06T15:34:00.003-04:00

**Update** We were not able to get an appointment for today so we are not going to the city. Thank you for praying and please don't stop just because we're not going today. We need an army of prayers behind us as we tentatively begin this process!!

So we talked to Lourdes this morning (the head lady in the office here) about wanting to write our letter of intent. She remembered our case and she actually talked to CNA (the govt agency in Guatemala that approves adoptions) back in May or June and she said they are very interested in helping our case. She is trying to set up an appointment for us tomorrow in the city to meet with CNA and plead our case. This doesn't move our process in the States any faster but it might help later on in moving things quickly when it comes to the Guatemalan side of things. They like our case because it's a large family unit, Maria's age is a factor and Julio's disability is a factor.

My emotions are topsy turvy right now. I am excited about the idea of meeting with CNA so soon in our process but I am nervous because it's so sudden and I don't really know what to expect and we might have to pay a driver and we may not know the interpreter. But, if they are able to meet with us tomorrow, we can't turn it down. So I don't know how to feel right now. I'm excited, nervous, feeling a little overwhelmed just at how fast it might move down here. However, there is still LOTS to do and a lot of paperwork and we can't do ANYTHING in the States yet.

We are praying lots down here right now. We will know later this afternoon if we're traveling to the city tomorrow so I will let you know tonight what's going on. Thank you ahead of time for your prayers!

What a Day!

2009-08-05T21:57:00.003-04:00

Whew. We did a LOT today!

We started the morning with completing the paint job on house #2. KAJ, myself, and the husband and oldest son of our new friends spent the mornings painting the houses that my team built last week. Well, we only built one but we watched them finishing the second one :-) The paint is a really cool bright aqua/teal/green color. Of course I have pictures! How could you doubt me?? But, as you know, you'll have to wait til next week to see them. Anyways, we finished the second house this morning so we are officially out of work for the remainder of our trip. And we're okay with that!

After lunch, we joined the current team on their excursion to the dump. I'm always amazed at the dump, amazed at the love in their eyes, amazed at the containers they bring for their meal (some are real bowls, some are things they have dug out of the garbage), amazed at the intensity of dirtiness on their faces/feet/clothing. The line seemed to multiply as the distribution continued. Literally, it looked like it never decreased for at least a half hour. There were HUNDREDS of people there today!!

Just when I thought were were leaving the dump, we loaded the bus and drove THRU the dump to the other side to a small village where many of the people live that receive the meal. The team had clothing and some shoes to distribute and Gerber (our "guide") also had packages of dried beans and dried vegetables to hand out to families. We walked through their village looking at their homes. I have to say, I was really uncomfortable with this part. A few of the girls were getting down to talk with the kids, but most of the team (all 30 of them!) just walked through, taking pictures. I almost felt like the people were an exhibit, on display like at the zoo. I felt very ackward. It's hard to explain but imagine if a large group of people from another country just walked through your street, taking pictures of your kids, of your house, your laundry, your pig. Very strange...

Then we went to the orfanato :-) Today was a good day with our kids. The younger two were snuggly and wanted to play. Maria is always ready with a sweet smile. She had been on a walk with the toddlers and came running to us for a hug when she got back and saw us sitting there. Brigido hung out with us for a while today as well. Yesterday was a rough day for me with him. He didn't even want to acknowledge that I was there, walked right past me, didn't want to talk to me, didn't even ask for candy!! It's hard when "your child" doesn't acknowledge you. But today was good. We talked, hung out, he asked for candy. It was back to normal.

We want to bring them down to the pool on Saturday but found out that the next group that comes tomorrow is taking all the kids to a nearby waterpark Saturday. Luckily the group is small and the family that we have gotten to be friends with is part of the group so I think we're going to join them and go. So we might bring down our kids Friday afternoon so we can have a bit of time alone with them before we leave. But it sounds like we're going to have a great last day here!

Please pray - tomorrow we are going to the office to talk with the head honcho lady about our adoptions and we're going to write our letter of intent to adopt them. It's going to be a big step in our adoption. We're excited! We have been so blessed to become friends with the family that's here visiting their kids. We all get along so well and they have great encouragement for us. And we're already planning on a yearly reunion with them once we all get our kids :-)

Thank you for all your prayers so far. We've had a great trip. I'm sad it's coming to an end but I'm also excited to be able to flush toilet paper :-) hehe it's really not so bad.

Birthday Events

2009-08-02T21:36:00.002-04:00

So, really quickly because I want to...

Happy Birthday to ME! :-)

We spent ALLLLL morning in church. We went to church in Llano Verde, which is my favorite church down here. I like the other ones, too, but that's my favorite. Usually the morning service is over by 11:00 but today there was a guest speaker and she spoke for an hour and a half!! So church wasn't over until 12:00. Poor KAJ, he didn't understand ANY of it. At least I was able to pick up bits and pieces and was kind of getting the idea of the sermon. I just love the music though. That's my favorite part. And I've learned a couple of songs so when the ones I know come up, I just sing my little heart out! I wish that I could bring our whole church down here just for a service. I just LOVE the passion in the worship that exists down here. They absolutely have to trust God for everyday things. This is a whole other blog post that will happen once I get home.

After lunch, we walked up to the orphanage and got permission to take our kids for the day. We got a ride down to the pool and spent the afternoon swimming and throwing the ball and laughing and just bonding. We took some video and pictures so I'll share them once we get home. After swimming, we walked into town and got sodas from the tienda (store) and walked back. We then spent time on the helipad in the middle of a pond while the kids took over my camera and took a bazillion pictures of this stupid duck :-) I'll just do some deleting later. The kids were looking through old pictures on my camera and found disney pictures. They enjoyed those. I can't wait to take them to Disney World!!!

Then we ate dinner. It was awesome to eat as a family. KAJ was laughing at me later. He says that I picked up the mom role without hesitation. We found out that Margaro and Julio are so scared of dogs. There was one wondering around during dinner. Unfortunately, because the kids were dropping rice all over, the dog was kind of hanging around us.... :-)

It was such an awesome day of bonding and spending time with our kids. God has blessed us with new friends here as well. There is a family here spending time with their 2 girls that they are adopting. We have spent so much time talking about adoption and just talking in general. In fact, a few months ago I blogged a short blog about the rollercoaster that adoption has started and it was because I had just gotten an email from this same lady. It was just realistic, no sugar coating. But after talking to her, I feel that there is hope and it just might happen.

Keep praying for our health. Two nights ago I was up and down all night, pretty sick. I slept in yesterday but still felt pretty rotten all day. One guy told me I should get tested for parasites when I get home. That since I've been here so much lately, I might have them :-( Ugh. But apparantly it's not a big deal. I just need some medicine. Today I felt great and thank goodness that KAJ has been great so far.

Tomorrow we'll begin work on 2 new houses right beside where my team worked last week. It'll be nice to see the construction guys again. (Sam, I haven't talked to Lucas yet but I will attempt tomorrow for you) :-)

Love to you all!

For My Faithful Followers

2009-07-29T21:07:00.003-04:00

so I have to be honest. I have not really been in the mood to blog on this trip and am only doing so for those of you who are faithfully reading to keep up with my trip. HOWEVER, I also know that if I don't blog while I'm here, I will forget things when I get home that I know I will not want to forget.

For instance, today KAJ and I walked to the orphanage and when we got there, Margaro was doing his homework. He couldn't get up and play but he did give us this really funny face. He was making his eyebrows go up and down really fast (Lindsay, similar to Pey's look). It was so stinkin' cute.

Or, the first thing Brigido says when he sees me is "candy please" and I accused him the other day of only wanting me for my candy. But lately, he's been hanging out just a little longer and wanting to take pictures with his brothers.

Or, how Maria's eyes just light up when she sees us. Here's what I haven't blogged about yet. A few days ago, I did something that I'm hoping won't get me in trouble but I feel very strongly about. There was a girl on my team that is fluent in Spanish so I had her help me translate this to Maria. I told her that KAJ and I love her and her family very much and we were wondering if she would like for us to adopt them. Her face just lit up with a whole new life. I told her that we would begin to file paperwork but I make no promises. We made that very clear to her that we don't know what will happen or if anything will happen but we're going to try very very hard to adopt her family. She used to smile for me before but now her face just lights up like I have never seen it. The girl that was translating for me told me later that she almost started to cry when it happened. She could tell just how happy Maria was to know she was wanted and loved.

Or, how today Margaro called me mama and referred to KAJ the other day as papa. I keep telling him MAYBE but you can tell he just loves the idea.

Or, how Julio just falls asleep wherever he is even if it's on the tile floor in the tv room.

I would forget little things like this if I didn't blog about them.

Also, KAJ and I were bored for just a few minutes this morning but we saw Lucas, the head of construction, and he told us that they're going to start 2 new houses on site on Monday. So we're excited to have a real project to work on next week. Plus we'll still be at the orphanage every afternoon for a few hours.

Please keep praying. And pray for Heather, a full time missionary in Guatemala, as she is going to be having her baby via C-section in the next 10 days. Pray that she and baby would be healthy. You can read her blog in my sidebar (the journey).